All in all, I'm a little bit glad that I missed out on FLUID this week because I wouldn't have had enough time to freak out over MHD. I would have been freaking out over several things, and honestly my brain doesn't have the space for all that shit. I've managed to push away a lot of that fear and anxiety, at least the unfounded fear and anxiety, and I'm not very well equipped to deal with that much of it. I've got tools to deal with it, but gosh, that was SCARY! Even the night before I surrounded myself with my aminals because it was sinking it. We'd been planning MHD for months, but the idea of telling my story, one I'd hid for a long time in front of people I was afraid of was pretty scary.
When I got to school my first thought was- I have to go to TA. So I went to TA and then I put my stuff in my locker and went to the library and changed my clothes and gave Morrison those Myths about Mental Illness sheets and took a seat. And remembered to breathe. (I actually think that Ms Morrison reminded me to do that.) I think I fidgeted a lot. Mr. Francis showed up and WHA, that was cool! The talk Mary-Anne gave was pretty engaging, but I think I was too nervous to really stop moving.
The break came...I really stopped breathing then until I had stopped running around in circles and was helping Ashley set up the conference room chairs. Here, I had a peer who was about to do the same thing and I think I took heart from him. The teachers really helped too, gosh, that was scary. But they helped me get settled and ready and that was really important. I was completely winging it, but it felt right after a little while. Still nervous, still doing that thing where I make jokes when I'm feeling awkward, but right. When Val and Vae started talking though, I really wished I didn't smile at all the wrong times because I felt like crying. My friends have supported me when I didn't have anyone to talk to without making an appointment, and they supported me even when I did. They are not obligated, they are not condemned if they don't help, but they do it anyways. And no matter when happens in my life, I will never forget the amazing love and friendship they gave to me when I felt I had nothing left but a handful of pills.
The second group was better. I passed around more of my stuff and talked about all the things I'd forgotten about in the first one, and it still tugged at my heart to hear Val and Vae.
Nonetheless, it was a huge relief when lunch came. Did anyone know the caf made such awesome food? Still want some of that pasta, amazing pasta. It felt really weird talking to all those adults though. Just goes to show you, I really have to stop hanging out with toddlers, because all I could think of to say was things about how cute my nieces and nephews are and how I "don't get it." Seriously, grown-ups are a different species.
Dr. Berber was cool. He was very different from any other speaker I'd seen, and I think Mary Ward makes a point of arranging for unique speaking styles. His mnemonics were pretty useful actually, I'm trying to find a website or something where those are listed but I'm just finding a lot of articles citing him as a resource. If anyone finds it, can you tell me? It was good.
Although it really was a roller coaster day, (and all those people who met my gr8 teacher in the first group know I don't like roller coasters!) it was very freeing. No more hiding.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Google my House!
Google My House!
The newest search tool from Google is designed to target even the laziest of teenagers. It's called Google my house! and it's the biggest internet phenomenon since YouTube and virtual packing bubbles. (Internet Videos and Stress Helpers.) The newest Google enables you to search the contents of your house, and their locations after a quick scan. Google sends a small leprechaun through your Internet Connection which then appraises your goods and continues to mark any changes in your house. Then you can easily search for anything on your property through the internet wizard. Here are some search functions we loved at Power of What.
Find: textbooks+paper+unit guides+units+lunch+drink+weed into schoolbag.
Find: schoolbag.
This search query finds the items listed above and follows the instruction, "into" to pack your bag for you. Another quick flick of the wrist and your packed bag is by your side. You can even break it down to find the components of your lunch and put them together, if you use the right terms.
Find: hard liqueur+shot glass
Lose: parental supervision
This handy "lose" function is great for us!
Find: functional family
Unfortunately, we found a tiny glitch. After inputting this search query, we recieved this message.
"SYNTAX ERROR: SEARCHED ITEM DOES NOT EXIST. Contact leprechaun for further assistance."
We've learned to expect a lot from google, but I think that pushed the limits.
Anyways, with this great new addiction- sorry- addition to the google family, we're sure to become a much more obese nation. Can I google Timmy's?
