Marry Me Doogie!!!

I've just finished watching all 4 seasons of Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989-1993)

If Doogie Howser wasn't fictional or 17 years older than me I would marry the guy.

• He's a dork. In season 1 he was 16 and had a pudgy face, giant hair, horrible ties and gigantic dress shirts. In season 4 he was 19 and still had horrible ties.
  I'm a dork. I spout random knowledge, am pretty awkward, and say the darnest things.
  
• He's constantly learning new things about himself. Doogie can be a jerk, but eventually he learns something new about how he and the world interact.
  Me too! I learned that I can be bossy, pretty angry, overly self-conscious, etc... but through life, (and therapy) I too figure out ways to be more harmonious with the world I live in.
  
• He writes a short journal every night, documenting changes in his perspective.
  I don't write in my diary every night, but I do write often, especially about how my thoughts evolve and change. I tend to write pages and pages then not at all.
  
• He's a doctor.
  I want to be a doctor.
• He's 6'1".
  I'm 5'1". We'd be hilarious just standing next to each other.
  
• Although he started out shy about sex, he became more confident about it. He could teach me to be more comfortable with anything beyond closed-mouth kissing.
• He moved out, then moved back home, then moved out to a place what he'd almost own when he was ready.
  I need my own place. Having this weekend to myself has only strengthened my conviction to move out as soon as it's financially feasible.
  
• He's OK with the gay! In fact, he helped Vinnie get over his misconceptions about having a gay roommate in his dorm.
  I'm one of the gays! In fact, I'm a teensy bit active about helping people get over the misconceptions about the sexuality/gender spectrum.
• He and his best friend really mean a lot to each other, and they're not afraid of that. I respect that kind of strong relationship.
• His idea of a rockin' New Year's Eve party is an intimate, formal affair with shrimp and cocktails. But when his plans went wrong he partied like an animal and loved it.
  I've been dreaming of having an intimate, formal garden party with shrimp and cocktails. But I'm also interesting in partying like a penguin. (Yea Penguathelon!!!)
  
• He owns a tuxedo.
  I love people in tuxedos.
• His loft is decorated the way I think I'd like to decorate. Light, airy, open space...less than ideal neighbours though...
• For a long time he worried about his leukemia coming back, and that kept him from enjoying life. Instead he rushed through, afraid that he wouldn't have time for it. That's one of the things he realized in the series finale. He uses his experience to gain insight towards being a better doctor and a better person.
  I worry about my depression and anxiety. I think I'm doing pretty well at having fun, while still being careful about it. I try to talk about in a way that eases people out of believing myths that contribute to stigma. I'm learning to live like your average teen instead of being scared it'll come back. It probably will, so I might as well take advantage of the good times now.
• He changes his mind about people. Like when Raymond held him and Vinnie up at the convenience store he learned more about Ray and ended up being friends with him. I like that.
• He's romantic!

I hope that's the person I'll marry. Someone with a kind, open heart, good friendships and healthy relationships, funny, some similar interests, someone who has things to teach me, someone who is willing to change his or her mind, and someone who gets the good and the bad stuff. I think we'd be happy, whoever he or she is.

The Wedding

I really liked Ellen's wedding. I love the vintage chairs and muted colours, and how dinner was set up in a tent with silk fabric everywhere. The wedding was tasteful and quite small.

I really like that tent, but seeing as I don't own a giant house or a backyard the size of a small zoo the wedding would be held in formal gardens with water running by it and a little cottage tucked just behind trees. (For the washrooms, a space for my love and I, and all the the other stuff that needs to be inside. We'd set up the tent, same as Ellen and Portia, except much larger. I suppose I'd let people sit where they want. Now, I don't really like circular tables because it makes conversation difficult. Rectangular tables are ugly, so I'll stick with square tables with rounded edges. They will be covered with fabric in the same muted colours as we decide, but those will be sprayed with stuff to prevent spills and stains from really eating into the fabric.

I've always wanted an off the shoulder dress, but I found another one that I really like. It's strapless but with a lace jacket over it, removable of course. One layer drapes diagonally across the front, and the bottom is just short enough that you can see my feet underneath. The hem is done in lace to match the mantilla veil I'll wear. Dress and veil will be chapel length in a soft white or cream colour. I think I'll wear the same tiara as my debut, with the pearls and small flowers and crystals. My hair will be in a classic updo, but with soft waves. I'll wear makeup that highlights my eyes and makes me look really clear skinned without looking gross. I'll paint my nails that light pink/shimmer I like and file the edges as usual, cuz god knows without filing it I'll ruin them pretty much immediately. Oh, and I'll definitely have a satin garter without the lace, because lace is itchy right next to your skin. (Jasmine Bridal, style F164.)

I'll invite one-connection family, as in my cousin but not my cousins in-laws. Lots of kids, Tristan and Carlo will be 18, the age I am now, but Christian, Kyle, and Heather's baby boy will be 10. (This is based on the 10-year-plan of marriage by 28.) We'll invite our friends that we talk to fairly often. I'll try to keep my side of the guests under 50, which might be hard since our family seems to be growing exponentially right now. Big Bunny, Regular Bunny, and Elephant will be present. Speedy will be watching from a kiddie pool with water and rocks for basking. The attire will be white tie and I expect to see tails!

The ceremony will be held outside, in the garden as well. Definitely no church wedding, as that was the scene of a lot of panic attacks. I'm not comfortable with the idea of being "given away" so that's not going to happen. I haven't really thought about the ceremony a lot, I imagine that would be something I'd discuss a lot with my wife, since I've already planned the rest of the wedding. :) Oh, except that we'll sign the stuff with my G-Tec C4, because I'm definitely going to be OCD about that.

Now we all sit down to dinner. I think being served your food is stupid. It always takes too long and you end up getting stuff you don't like, and too little of the stuff you do like. The problem with buffets is that you always have to wait, so each table will have a little guestbook and it will be mandatory that they sign it. Since we'll be taking photos in between the ceremony and reception I'll have food put out along with some wet-naps or baby wipes or something. Ketchup chips, (bite me, I like them so we're gonna eat them on my wedding day) tiny fried chicken, fruit plates, Five Alive Tropical, those tiny sirloin steak thingies from Ten Ichi which goes with sushi sashimi and tempura, lettuce for Speedy, Dairy Milk chocolate, street vendor hot dogs, tater tots, whatever else my favourite foods are at that time, and my wife's favourite foods.

Then that will all be put onto the head table, the floor will be swept evenly, and we'll make our entrance. "Please welcome for the first time...Mrs. Blar Blurgablur and Dr. Katherina Blurgablur!" We'll kiss gently and embrace lovingly, then dance our first dance for as long or short we want to. We'll join the wedding party at the head table, which might be shaped like a paint splotch so we can all talk to each other. While people give speeches we'll eat the appetizers. I'll make sure that the audio is good because I hate it when you can't hear stuff. Cute stories are good, inside jokes not so good, speeches over 5 minutes also not good. (Although we want them long enough to eat.) My wife and I will talk about how much we love each other, she'll joke about how I planned my wedding at 12 and then re-planned it at 18, I'll joke about her weird hobbies and how we met.

Finally, time for dinner. We'll turn on the heaters for Speedy. People will be signing guestbooks and also snacking on the food on their tables while we get them through the buffets. We'll serve Lolo's larger fried chicken, salad with a tangy vinaigrette on the side, Tita Deni's adobo, feeder fish for Speedy, carrots and stuff for Big Bunny Regular Bunny and Elephant, mashed potatoes with no lumps, fish and chips style scallops, fried rice, steamed rice, vegetarian and meat lasagna, ribs, crepes, french toast, pot roast, spaghetti, gnocci, pancakes, waffles, pizza, salmon, tilapia, chicken teriyakki, roesti, and of course my wife's and my favourites foods at that time. Drink choices will be more Five Alive Tropical, lemonade, c-plus, different kinds of granita, and alcohol- but not beer or hard drinks or gross wine or champagne. Only the good stuff, which I find usually doesn't have alcohol in it.

Dessert will be ice cream cake with the little crumblies, more granita, soft ice cream, Dairy Milk chocolate, strawberries dipped in chocolate since people seem to like those a lot, even more fruit plates, a tiny sampling of fruits for Speedy, whatever Big Bunny Regular Bunny and Elephant want, raspberry sorbet, warm cookies, sapin-sapin, dried mangoes, crackers, red and orange jello separately, and last time, whatever my wife and I want at that time.

We'll leave all the food out, still warm or cold, but push it to the side because I always get hungry in the middle of the dancing. We will dance as if we have no bones, just all out flinging around because it's fun, then open the dance floor. Perhaps 1.5h in I'll stop the dancing and declare, "NO SHOES!" At that point everyone must remove their shoes, because even if your feet aren't in pain, your shoes could hurt someone elses bare feet. We will dance, the kids will play, and eventually we'll sneak away and my wife will remove the satin garter with her teeth.


Here are the presents I want for the wedding/shower.

• Good, simple, light cutlery
• That blender that can blend bricks
• Microwave
• Toaster Oven
• Lingerie
• Tool Set (although I'll probably have one already, cuz I want one for my 19th birthday)
• Power tools
• A screwdriver with all the different types of ends and a magnetic tip
• Good but dishwasher friendly and unbreakable plates/bowls/smaller plates/etc
• Corelle White, because everybody has one
• A set of glasses for drinking and everyday, see guide for plates
• Even more co-ordinated things for organizing
• Appliances would be nice, but they might come with the house
• VACUUMS

Upcoming Installments: The return of Dino Driver, The House, The Sperm Guy, and The Life

Quadruple Post

Big Sister Nayah showing the things she got for her new little brother Christian- Foofy the bear and a yellow car.

Today is the birthday of three people in my life. Zoey, who has been a constant in my life for more than a year now. Tito Larry, who is quiet but loving. And now, Christian Singh, my niece/nephew No. 13.

He's got a squished face, (Nayah's description, but I agree) and tons of hair. He looks shocking like his dad. His cry is not nearly as shrill as some of the other nieces and nephews, but it still kinda hurts my ears.

He's the only infant who hasn't cried when I got near him! Granted, I know that really small babies don't really like me, so I stay away. I wish they did though, I love them when they're tiny. Oh, speaking of which, Christian weighed exactly 7lbs and kinda reminds me of a football. Check out my excitement, as portrayed by dance. It's actually really, really funny, not like my other videos.


I'm practising photography and it's kind of cool. All I know how to do is ISO, white balance, and macro but my pictures are stay way better than they used to be. I'm still working on the lighting, but the only light I have is my Happy Light, which gives off kind of a cold, though well dispersed light. I hope I get better!

Working while Bunny and Rachel watch Lilo & Stitch.

I'm starting an etsy shop! Right now, this is my workspace. I did get a desk, but I hope I don't have it for long because I'm going to call the manufacturer. It's wobbly and the leg room is lacking. Anyways, I've got wholesale sources and a Gocco, and I'm slowly building up inventory. I'm learning all about business, crafting, photography, and online stuff all at once! Although I love my Gocco to bits, it ate up my capital so my current fav new toy is my Fiskars Paper Trimmer. It's orange and fantastic. I'll post the link to the shop when I get started, target date is March 1st.

Then, Now, Then

So I found CD's with a whole pile of pictures from 2004. I put them up on Facebook and there was a frenzy of comments and nostalgia, which was cool, but...eh. That's a time I'm glad we went through, but I'm also glad it's over. That year was pretty difficult.

The present photo doesn't really have anything to do with right now, but I think it's pretty funny. Look at the look on Jono's face, and then look at Speedy. Recently Dr. Ramshaw added a new med to the mix so I'm taking 100mg lamotrigine, 90mg duloxetine, and 100mg trazodone every night. I used to be iffy about meds, but everytime I crash I know that I want to be doing whatever I can to stop that from happening again. Although when I'm crashing I think I can make that happen by killing myself... Anyway, I know that without medication I would never reach a point where I can participate in treatment and you know, not kill myself. Okay, the massive meds still kinda irk me...

I don't think the woman in the "future" photo is gonna be my wife. I put her up because I love her dress, and I found it while perusing this awesome wedding website. Wedding=future? She's pretty though, huh. My friends and I have been spending a lot of time imagining ideal futures. There's enough of the present to deal with, I like talking about getting married, being inseminated, having kids, a house, an M.D...

You know, spinning the yarn of my wedding plans got long, so I'll post that seperately.