Marry Me Doogie!!!

I've just finished watching all 4 seasons of Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989-1993)

If Doogie Howser wasn't fictional or 17 years older than me I would marry the guy.

• He's a dork. In season 1 he was 16 and had a pudgy face, giant hair, horrible ties and gigantic dress shirts. In season 4 he was 19 and still had horrible ties.
  I'm a dork. I spout random knowledge, am pretty awkward, and say the darnest things.
  
• He's constantly learning new things about himself. Doogie can be a jerk, but eventually he learns something new about how he and the world interact.
  Me too! I learned that I can be bossy, pretty angry, overly self-conscious, etc... but through life, (and therapy) I too figure out ways to be more harmonious with the world I live in.
  
• He writes a short journal every night, documenting changes in his perspective.
  I don't write in my diary every night, but I do write often, especially about how my thoughts evolve and change. I tend to write pages and pages then not at all.
  
• He's a doctor.
  I want to be a doctor.
• He's 6'1".
  I'm 5'1". We'd be hilarious just standing next to each other.
  
• Although he started out shy about sex, he became more confident about it. He could teach me to be more comfortable with anything beyond closed-mouth kissing.
• He moved out, then moved back home, then moved out to a place what he'd almost own when he was ready.
  I need my own place. Having this weekend to myself has only strengthened my conviction to move out as soon as it's financially feasible.
  
• He's OK with the gay! In fact, he helped Vinnie get over his misconceptions about having a gay roommate in his dorm.
  I'm one of the gays! In fact, I'm a teensy bit active about helping people get over the misconceptions about the sexuality/gender spectrum.
• He and his best friend really mean a lot to each other, and they're not afraid of that. I respect that kind of strong relationship.
• His idea of a rockin' New Year's Eve party is an intimate, formal affair with shrimp and cocktails. But when his plans went wrong he partied like an animal and loved it.
  I've been dreaming of having an intimate, formal garden party with shrimp and cocktails. But I'm also interesting in partying like a penguin. (Yea Penguathelon!!!)
  
• He owns a tuxedo.
  I love people in tuxedos.
• His loft is decorated the way I think I'd like to decorate. Light, airy, open space...less than ideal neighbours though...
• For a long time he worried about his leukemia coming back, and that kept him from enjoying life. Instead he rushed through, afraid that he wouldn't have time for it. That's one of the things he realized in the series finale. He uses his experience to gain insight towards being a better doctor and a better person.
  I worry about my depression and anxiety. I think I'm doing pretty well at having fun, while still being careful about it. I try to talk about in a way that eases people out of believing myths that contribute to stigma. I'm learning to live like your average teen instead of being scared it'll come back. It probably will, so I might as well take advantage of the good times now.
• He changes his mind about people. Like when Raymond held him and Vinnie up at the convenience store he learned more about Ray and ended up being friends with him. I like that.
• He's romantic!

I hope that's the person I'll marry. Someone with a kind, open heart, good friendships and healthy relationships, funny, some similar interests, someone who has things to teach me, someone who is willing to change his or her mind, and someone who gets the good and the bad stuff. I think we'd be happy, whoever he or she is.

My Fridge is Controlling Me

I was gathering fruits for a snack when the fridge started to beep at me. "You left the door open!" it said. "Nearly done," I replied. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you know how much energy you're wasting by leaving my doors open!? BEEEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP!!!!"

I chucked the rest of the fruits in there and ran.

Zeus, God and Kat

Zeus once said, "a woman with a proper fitting bra becomes a most beautiful creature."

God replied, "Even a short heel lengthens ones calves and makes what was once a short woman become a fabulous amazon."

Kat broke between them and said, "Gods, please! These are all tools that help us achieve the fashion holy trinity! Posture! Fit! Proportion! Let us marry our tools and our aims so that we may achieve a brighter likeness in our outfits!"

And so Zeus, God, and Kat donned their supportive underwear and low-to-high heels before clothing themselves in garments worthy only of those completing the fashion holy trinity so that they may dance in all their potential fabulousness.

"To Posture! Fit! and Proportion!"

Kat's Favourite Quotes from Elvira Kurt - Big Girl Now

Watch it here! You gotta see her facial expressions, they're hilarious. Her eyes are ginormous.

"I've been living in LA for a year now, but I love coming back to Canada. I guess it's just as the old saying goes, 'Home is where the health care is.'"
"Things are advancing needlessly. Why, for example, does Tampax have a website?!"
"We're raising a generation of namby-pambies! Those are two great words right there."
"Let the little one-eyed bastards play!"
(Referring to those spinning wheels of doom at the playground) "Now it's just a stump left with grass growing all over it where you can take your little overprotected snot-nosed kid of today and say 'yea, that's where we lost grandpa.'"
"But you can't go up to the baby....you can't shove your big finger up in their face and go, 'SHUT UP. SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD MY EARS HURT TOO' because suddenly Nooo! You're the one with the problem!"
"I just crapped my pants."
"Wouldn't it be great if relationship could just end mutually the way it began, you just wake up one morning and go, 'Wow, I am so over you.' 'Yea, me too! Fortunately we've labelled all our things and put them in seperate rooms!'"
"I say, if you find someone that you're really compatible with, someone you really see as a soulmate, someone you see yourself staying with from now to eternity, I say, why ruin that relationship by staying together? Why not have every relationship only last those few honeymoon months!"
"We come back three months from now someone stands up and yells 'ROTATE!'"
"Oh darlin' is there somethin' stuck in my ass?"
"Come 'ere, who's my little shoehorn?! Come hug your toiletduck, who loves you!"
"How you found this, as I have, that we know more about Americans than they know about...anything?"
"Although, I would like to take this time and talk to you about Jesus if I could. [...] How frightening would that be?"
"I always come in with a Winona Ryder hope and dream and I always come out with a David Schwimmer reality."
"Yes my secrets out! I love pantsuits! Damn you your narrow minded ways!"
"So that's what a lesbian looks like. How come I couldn't tell? Perhaps I'll just sketch her for future reference."
"Right now my parents are at that perfect height where you just want to put carrying case handles on their head. It would be so much easier that way...Get in the car. Stop arguing, YES, I'll take you to a buffet, shut up!"
"'HEY LADIES!' - that's how I'd say it - 'HEY LADIES!' - that's the kind of comic I was - 'HEY LADIES, DONCHA HATE IT WHEN YOUR MAN HAS A PENIS!' Oh shit."
"I'm not a hundred percent butch, but I do have my butch qualities. [laughter] I do, I don't know why people laugh there!"
"I fall into this nebulous grey area in the middle that I like to call, Fellagirly! You know the attitude, 'I'll get it! Hold my pumps.'"
"Excuse me I see naked people up there, is this Caribana?"
"Can you see my mom at a PFLAG meeting? 'Hi my name is Irene I wish I was dead.'"
"She wouldn't be any help on the crisis line- 'Give up it's only gonna get worse!'"
"I can just imagine her seeing people at the supermarket. 'My daughter? No. No. What she doing? Oh. My daughter- is a comedian. And a lesbian. Both at the same time. Is a dream come true.'"
"I just remember being very, very angry. I ran home at lunchtime, pushed the front door open and went, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OUT THERE? Who are you people? What the hell am I wearing?!"