The Sperm Guy

Alright, this is my third post of the day, but this will be short. Let's begin.

I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of taking a friends sperm and using it, so we're going to be working off of the sperm bank sheets. This is the ideal candidate.

- No history of mental illness
- Little to no history of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, degenerative diseases, etc.
- Taller than 5'7 but not taller than 6'3
- Not a jerk
- Happy in his career of choice
- Interests include some that are also interests of my wife and I
- Aesthetically pleasing

I have planned that if I am not married by the time I'm 32 I'll have a baby on my own, because having a child is something I want more than the fancy wedding and the perfect house. I'll love it and name it Adrien or Elijah or Avy or Eve or Aeriana. I'll breastfeed. I'll listen and have a difficult time letting it out of my sight. I'll save up for it's education. I won't make it wear pants with elastics at the bottom. Eventually my child won't need me and I'll feel empty and won't know what to do with myself for a while. I'll get really pissed when bad things happen to it, and try to do everything for it. Mostly I'll just try to give my baby a good life with balance and a sense of fulfillment. I hope one day I can.

Previous Posts: The Wedding
Upcoming Posts: The return of Dino Driver, The House, and The Life

Quadruple Post

Big Sister Nayah showing the things she got for her new little brother Christian- Foofy the bear and a yellow car.

Today is the birthday of three people in my life. Zoey, who has been a constant in my life for more than a year now. Tito Larry, who is quiet but loving. And now, Christian Singh, my niece/nephew No. 13.

He's got a squished face, (Nayah's description, but I agree) and tons of hair. He looks shocking like his dad. His cry is not nearly as shrill as some of the other nieces and nephews, but it still kinda hurts my ears.

He's the only infant who hasn't cried when I got near him! Granted, I know that really small babies don't really like me, so I stay away. I wish they did though, I love them when they're tiny. Oh, speaking of which, Christian weighed exactly 7lbs and kinda reminds me of a football. Check out my excitement, as portrayed by dance. It's actually really, really funny, not like my other videos.


I'm practising photography and it's kind of cool. All I know how to do is ISO, white balance, and macro but my pictures are stay way better than they used to be. I'm still working on the lighting, but the only light I have is my Happy Light, which gives off kind of a cold, though well dispersed light. I hope I get better!

Working while Bunny and Rachel watch Lilo & Stitch.

I'm starting an etsy shop! Right now, this is my workspace. I did get a desk, but I hope I don't have it for long because I'm going to call the manufacturer. It's wobbly and the leg room is lacking. Anyways, I've got wholesale sources and a Gocco, and I'm slowly building up inventory. I'm learning all about business, crafting, photography, and online stuff all at once! Although I love my Gocco to bits, it ate up my capital so my current fav new toy is my Fiskars Paper Trimmer. It's orange and fantastic. I'll post the link to the shop when I get started, target date is March 1st.

Then, Now, Then

So I found CD's with a whole pile of pictures from 2004. I put them up on Facebook and there was a frenzy of comments and nostalgia, which was cool, but...eh. That's a time I'm glad we went through, but I'm also glad it's over. That year was pretty difficult.

The present photo doesn't really have anything to do with right now, but I think it's pretty funny. Look at the look on Jono's face, and then look at Speedy. Recently Dr. Ramshaw added a new med to the mix so I'm taking 100mg lamotrigine, 90mg duloxetine, and 100mg trazodone every night. I used to be iffy about meds, but everytime I crash I know that I want to be doing whatever I can to stop that from happening again. Although when I'm crashing I think I can make that happen by killing myself... Anyway, I know that without medication I would never reach a point where I can participate in treatment and you know, not kill myself. Okay, the massive meds still kinda irk me...

I don't think the woman in the "future" photo is gonna be my wife. I put her up because I love her dress, and I found it while perusing this awesome wedding website. Wedding=future? She's pretty though, huh. My friends and I have been spending a lot of time imagining ideal futures. There's enough of the present to deal with, I like talking about getting married, being inseminated, having kids, a house, an M.D...

You know, spinning the yarn of my wedding plans got long, so I'll post that seperately.

i want a baby

Please save your breath. I know I earn LESS than what I need to support myself, let alone a child. I know I'm seventeen, and I can't even commit to choir once a week!

I think I'd be a really good mother. I think I would love my baby more than anything or anyone in the world, but I also think...that when the days get shorter or I just- I just crash, I would never leave my bed. I would cry and cry and I would probably...not be a very good mother.

I suppose I should say good-bye.