i <3 summer

This is OUTSIDE. Except covered in a layer of ice. Make it go away....
I just wanted to put that picture in because it's pretty and I took it. :P Also it's raining in WINTER...what is WITH that?? Suddenly it's raining. Let's pretend it's a fall picture.
What does that say to you? Hmm? WHAT DOES IT SAY?? It says good ol' summer nerdly fun.
This morning I woke up and my room was all sunny, (i love my wall colour) and it seemed so warm....no snow on my neighbours roof, and I though for a single happy moment, "YES! It's summer! It's Sunday! I can BREATHE!!!" and then I get out of bed and I'm frozen.

carry me

My burden I know it's heavy to hold.
Bodily weight flies high over our heads while
Heart ties pulling at the place I tied myself tight to you
I can't hold myself up without you
Don't let me go here
I can't fall all alone.
I know I'm being selfish,
To hold you back from what you think is right
To make it less real.
But you see you can't leave me here
I don't see how I can move on from this
My heart got buried with yours
It all sounds so wrong but I guess this is the only way to go
I can't make you stop
I can't make you stay
But just smile for me and tell me you'll try
And if days go by
Things don't seem to change,
I'll go down with you
Just don't make me leave it here

angel wings

All the people rushing by, by, by
looking for meaning in this life
so used up, and blinded by lies,
They're underneath the blue, blue sky
the way they seldom seem to smile
I don't know why.

'Cause I've been away too long
and everyday I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier.
Everyday I love you more.
I love you more,
and more.

Special Dedication to Marielaine...

Something about your friendship makes me at peace with myself.

I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No I can't accept the life that's mine

Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading "love" with indifference yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone
Maybe that's why I feel alone
Maybe that's why I feel alone

Special Dedication to Shortman...

You help me breathe, when I wish I didn't have to.

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Cause I speak sincerely and I mean it when I tell you that I need you
You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

Special Dedication to v3k, GO12, v4k2...

Because sometimes we're lame like that. And because I mean it.


You're my angel wings, you help me fly. You pick me up when I fall, sometimes
you know when I need to crawl just to move on. And when I'm around you,
I soar.

crayon warfare and further plans towards such

BANG! "We just bombed you right- here." A bright red x showed up on the guys side.
"Not even! We bomb you the-"
"You can't do that! That's inside the protective dome!"
"Then it goes through the door."
"Is this a MAGIC bomb?"
"No."
"Then it can't get through the magical door. Besides, we have God on our sides." A finger tapped a cross drawn haphazardly on the craft paper.
"Hey! You can't call God!"
"Pshh."

Is this recess at your local elementary school? No. Is this the screwed up dream of a lifetime sociopath? No. Is this Bush re-telling his discussion about how the wars been going? Probably. But really, it's v4k2- or more specifically vk vs. vk declaring war before five dinners arrived for seven people. (Sharing is economical.) The next day this discussion continued...

[*starSHINE].mW 1347: what soul? [ne.F]v4k2.36 says:
val, vvn and i are creating a restaurant
[*starSHINE].mW 1347: what soul? [ne.F]v4k2.36 says:
the first thing on the menu will be potato porcupine, followed by number 2, 4, and 13 pho, and then bento boxes, and then "hamburgers, to be shared" and then large ice cream scoops

It evolved still more...

~~AzN~~RiCe~~BoY~~ Full Of PIZZA!!! says:
were going to have this war at jackastors grr.
~~AzN~~RiCe~~BoY~~ Full Of PIZZA!!! says:
not at ur resturant

Yes, war. It's very real, and very painful, but within the confines of this odd blog, it's wax on craft paper and some very angry people. Bring it on guys. We have a magical dome.

myyyy honey

Ohkay so he's not actually mine. But he's awesome... welcome RJ!!!

saturday morning cartoons

More like Saturday morning American-style-Anime. And (pshh) real life people acting as if they're cartoon characters. I'm disappointed. Actually, those five, (count 'em) that's right five minutes of watching the commercials after Beyblade, (wth?) and the theme song of Zoey 101, (you're not going to get famous!) made my day. I was bubbly and hyper and totally on par during Mandarin that day. Granted, we got extra homework for throwing paper airplanes, (tiny ones, made out of post it notes) but no one checks that stuff anyways. And I kinda wasn't listening. So sure, there is such a thing as too much hyperness. I just didn't want to believe it was true.

But then there were fun times at mass...come home, eat lots of flip food, take a shower, leisurely pray your hair dries properly while dressing for church, then swearing and wishing you bought a hat when you realize it didn't. Meh. Usher's door was locked...went to the office...had a few laughs...had a LOT of laughs...then ran back to the ushers room just seconds before the opening chords struck up. And they were chords- monstrous ear splitting terrible minor chords. Plink Plink BAAAAANG. Yah that's all I remember. Oh good homily by Father! Power to the people, heh heh heh.

Then today I woke up to the wondrous tune of 10:00am, truly I did. I'm not even lying. Granted I barely slept- woke up at 5:00am, then sorta just lay there until a good sunday morning slothly tumble from bed. "Bmuragghh..." says the sloth. I anxiously awaited New Year's dim sum. I didn't want to tell you in the car val, or in the mall, or at the restaurant, or in the car, or in the office, or in the car, or in the mall, or in the car. Mostly because I forgot. But I dressed up early and when I saw your car I squealed and ran out the front door and saw- YOU! (Ohkay I'm going to stop addressing Val, as she never reads my blog anyways. Gr. =D ) Oodles of food and lai see! (LAI SEE DAU LOY!!! See, I remember.) So we ate, learned good oral hygiene, and shopped a little more. I got apple juice. HOORAH! Then I went home and listened to Val's extraordinary bargaining skills with little brother Betsy. Yes, gum still has a large trade value.

There's more, yes, there's more! (So ha DOOD. You know who you are, DOOD.) (More sugar? Yes, definately.) I sewed up another lucky envelope, (why don't you just Purchase an envelope? Saves my fingers...) and dashed over in the pouring rain wearing nothing but the thin shirt on my back and the hope that I could make this delivery safely...joking! I dashed over in the light drizzle with my hand-me-down jacket and my holey shoes, and yes, the hope that I would make the delivery safely. My mom made me bring my cell phone, in case I got lost on the way. Funfunfun... EEE!!! I can see through curtains too. I see you...BOO!

So ends the first wonderful weekend in a while...Gong hay fat choy! Now, lai see dau loy! Joking, joking! Geez...=D

(Yes, I'm still a bit hyper. Bzzz.)

destruction and reminiscence

September 26th 2005....
Going to Catholic school is like being force fed faith- rought going down and even worse coming back up.

September 27th 2005....
I worry for your falling, but a little for your soul. Or is this second fear a product of my Catholic upbringing, the IV hooked up to my veins. It's hard now, to know which is truth or speculation in all the SHIT you've fed us now. You guess but leave no room for interpretation.

December 5th, 2005....
Am I denied a faithful freedom- or past that, a freedom beyond my faith. For all my remarks and doubts- I remain Catholic. My vow, is ---this--- much harder to keep.

December 5th, 2005....
But this is real...

And the most eloquent of them all: January 5th, 2006....
Fur-ee pants get wet easily. (With a picture of furry pants next to it.) Is there any such thing as mouldy cheese? (Yes.)

I think I was waiting outside of Oriental Supermarket when I did the last one...that's just too random.

more than this

A quick note before I start: I added one of my Slide albums at the top. Click to see enlarged version.

You're ruthless. "Single-minded to the point of destruction."1 I don't believe you can really think like that at all! How can you live like that? No one chooses to exist on life based on this one thing that doesn't amount to anything, not now, not in the future. I can't understand this waste of time ticking by me. Everyone's moving forward and I'm stuck here watching. I'm reaching for you but all you say is, "let nothing get in your way" and suddenly...no. It doesn't even matter.

No! That was not me trying to be eloquent, or me trying to make a statement. It's just me ranting. Ranting quietly. Very quietly. In sentance fragments.

There's got to be more than this. Or just a way to get through it without actually being there. I know what the solution is- it's hidden in my animals. Or lurking on the other side of my locker walls. Floating up into the sky. But the solution is also the problem...or can I just not let go at all?

1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...something about Bee.

skating @stc

Who: Mrs. Mosely, Aeriana Eve, and k2 (aliases) Faye, Kat, and Kenny (real names...or are they?) and Vivian, at some point.
What: Skating and Shopping
Where: S. Civic Center, and S. Town Center (a whole 100 meters away)
When: Friday, January...something, 2006.
Why: Because we wanted to fly!

You'll see. We got our butts down to SCC and skated, (or tried to) for about an hour. Then our toes froze. No, you see, I'm lying. Our toes and fingers and faces froze about 10 minutes after getting our skates on! But it's all good...none of us ran over any little kids, and any wipeouts were for good reason and covered up very nicely. Very nicely. We skated around, chasing each other, tug-boating, everything. Then we headed for STC and shopped around, and when we were headed out of the pet store, (puppies! bunnies! lizards!) we found Vivian. Ahh another lie. Vivian found us, and we walked around for a bit before heading home. Fun day, fun day!

PS: A copy of this post will be posted in The Power of What? group blog.

stolen from kirk who stole it from mel

1. name: kat
2. single or taken: tagle
3. sex: female
4. bday: may 10th
5. sign: taurus
6. siblings: older brother
7. hair colour: brown
8. eye color: brown
9. height: 5

lovers & friends
1. who are your best friends?: 123
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: can't you tell? i'm TAGLE.
3. did you send this to your crush?: nope
4. did your crush send this to you?: nope

fashion
1. where is your favourite place to shop: garage...ae...
2. any tattoos or piercing: ears?

specitics
1. do you do drugs?: everyday. are you jk? i am.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: fructis
4. what are you listening to right now?: the tv
5. who is the last person that called you?: k2
6. where do you want to get married?: church
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 16
8. what would you change about yourself?: everything.

favourites
1. colour: pilurple
2. food: choklitte
3. boys names: adrian
4. girls names: aeriana
6. animals: bunnies
7. sports: soccer, baseball, tennis, badminton

have you ever..
1. given anyone a bath?: yep
2. smoked?: nope
3. bungee jumped?: nope
4. made yourself throw up?: yes..but i was sick.
5. skinny dipped?: nope
6: ever been in love?: yeah, i suppose
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: many times
8. pictured your crush naked?: nope
9. actually seen your crush naked?: nope
10. cried when someone died?: yeah
11. lied: yes
12. fallen for your best friend?: nope
13. been rejected?: ionno? kinda?
14. rejected someone?: nope
15. used someone?: yeah...i used her to get choklitte. from the magical elf. in toyland.
16. done something you regret?: everything.

clothes: track jacket, umm...a watchathingy...a...bath thingy?
music: nothing
make-up: nothing
pet peeve: lack of choklitte
smell: choklitte (not kidding)
desktop picture: flowers
favourite artist: olp, nickelback
favourite groups: GO12
book you are reading: handmaid's tale, oryx and crake, sixteen,
cd in player: the killers (thanks michelle!)
dvd in player: the one...about the boxer...the female one...who got euthanized
colour of toenails: the same colour they were yesterday

last person..
you touched: does big bunny count?
im'ed: vvn
yelled at: carlo
You kissed: does big bunny count?

you are..
Understanding: never
Arrogant: always
Insecure: forever
Interesting: not a chance
Random: definately
Smart: nope
Moody: only everyday of my life
Organized: i can be
Healthy: *cough* ex-er-cise?
Bored easily: yep
Shy: i can be
Difficult: yep
Attractive: nope
Messy: sometimes
Responsible: no
Hyper: occasionally...
Happy: no
Trusting: no
Talkative: yep

if you could you would..
Kill: the person who made choklitte not free.
Slap: *cough*
Get really wasted with?: (*creepy voice from that movie) i'll never tell...
Get high with: (*sigh) repeat creepy voice.
Talk to offline: God.
Talk to online: God. can i do that? (*lightning strikes.) guess not.

In the morning: i try to forget
All I need is: choklitte
Love is: math. (read dictionary part ii, see "kopach")
I dream about: babies, agenda's, failure

Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or candy: CAAAAAANDY
Tall or short: short

What do you notice first: eyelashes
Makes you laugh the most: big bunny
Makes you smile: big bunny
Sit on the Internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: nope
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: nope.
Wish you were younger: sometimes...
Cried because someone said something to you?: yes

I know: i like juice. and cheese.
I want: to forget.
I have: no more cheese or choklitte. (*eyes brother's stash.)
I wish: i could fly.
I hate: many things.
I hear: my brother...(*decides not to eat choklitte)
I search: endlessly
I regret: my life
I love: choklitte

more randomness
1. Do you like fillings these out? not when they're this long...
2. How many people are you sending this to? the blogger world?
3. Who will send it back? those who have no time to waste yet insist on doing it. (like me!)
4. Gold or silver: silver
5. Favourite cartoon/anime: i forgot...
6. What did you have for breakfast this morning: break-fast?
7. Who would you love being locked in a room with: a maminal.
8. Could you live without your computer: (*laughs) no! (*eyes widen.)
9. Would you colour your hair: yea
10. Could you ever get off the computer: umm....yea?
11. habla espanol?: me no habla espanol. que?
12. how many people are on your buddy list?: way more than i can keep track of.
13. drink alcohol? i wish. no i can't take it, i'm lying. it tastes ICKY.
14. like watching sunrises or sunsets?: sunsets...then you know it's over, for the day.
15. what hurts the most?: when you open the cookie/cheese jar...and it's empty. *tear.
16. best words ever?: foff.
17. what now?: i'm going to my piano.

THAT WAS LONG. HOLYYYYYY....g'night guys. Thanks lil bro for letting me steal it off you..

dude. non ward party w/ward ppl is

What? non ward party w/ward ppl is what? Don't leave me hanging here! NO! Don't WALK AWAY! I YEARN TO KNOW!!!

Don't worry. I didn't walk away. It was alright...truth or dare, high heels, FOOD, stuffed animals, everything. Yep!

g'morning and merry christmas! (3am post)

Yep. The family party has just officially ended- the door slammed shut on the last visitors. I can still hear them walking down the driveway through the open window. It is 3:12AM on Sunday, December 25th 2005. An hour ago, I was sleeping behind a small pile of presents, (mostly clothes) holding onto Speedy McKenneth and Big Bunny, of course. Here's how the party worked out:
First guests at 8:00- right as i opened the car door to hop out after mass I heard, "HEY!"
Party Picks up at 7:30
We start dinner at about 11:45pm.
Presents start at about 12:45pm, the next day!
Presents end at...2:30am
Dessert/Adult Kris Kringle/Wrapping up of celebrations- 3:00am
Average GIGANTIC family christmas i guess! and now...to return to the depressing business of my life and SLEEP. Merry Christmas y'all.

proud to be pilipino

yeaa...i'm a nerrd. now, watch me struggle. ako ay pilipino...i'm so proud of it, my culture, my family- especially for coming all the way from the other side of the world. there is so much more here, and though i am a pilipino-canadian, pero, i know i have responsibilities to my family, "back home." yea, i've never been back, but for us, it's still home. my heart belongs to canada, but my blood runs filipino. anyways, i should probably get back to that overdue monologue. by the WAY- kumain ka na ba?? hoy!! (*tsk) *smiles. that's all i know how to say. And i think i spelled 'pero' wrong...newho, salamat ho/po for your time, loves.

THE APL SONG (Black Eyed Peas)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

burst my bubble - headers

Take Back Your Balloons.
Exacto knives and balloons don't mix. TAKE IT BACK. I DON'T WANT YOUR ----------. Let it go. Let's move on, because time is moving quickly and you seem to be stuck in a rut.
Back Off.
I don't need you asking questions all the time. I don't want you perpetually in my face. BACK OFF. I can deal with- wait- you don't even know what the hell is wrong. Let it go.
Stick To The Rules.
You all know I'm not always the greatest advocate to rules, but I'm not a great risk-taker either. But honestly, sometimes you kinda need them there. I'm not talking about admin rules here either- GO12, pay attention.
Joyeux Noel, GTH.
I love Christmas. I do! I think the birth of Christ is an amazing event we definately need to be remembered 2005 years after it happened. Hold on- why does everyone else hate this season as well? Must be something to it, eh?
Close Your Eyes.
Because you definately don't want to know what's coming next. BUCK UP YOUNG CHUCK, I'm headed your way. And I'm ANGRY.

...



AUGHHHH FUCK OFF!!!!

happy 15th v.a.l.!!!

Yes. That's right. It's a PARTY BLOWER THING. HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY VAL!!! Hopefully it's not your last 15th birthday party, if you believe in reincarnation. Hopefully it's your last 15th birthday party, if you don't! YAY FOR VAL!!!

invisible

can you slip away into the night? can you disappear completely? is it possible for you to be standing in the middle of a circle of people and no one sees you at all? or is it just that no one cares?

teen angst...

christmas for mw and the beef dance

Christmas came early for mary ward.
“TA’s, please come pick up the new agenda’s for your TA in the main office immediately.” Instantly a murmur hissed down the hall as students caught on to the implications of this message. Almost everyone rushed to TA, and as we walked in, Mark’s EA was standing at the front of the room grinning like Santa Claus and yelling, “Does everyone have an agenda? Who doesn’t have a new agenda!?”
People were squealing as we clung on to these new- whole- books. I stroked my nice clean agenda. I didn’t even put it in my bag- I carried it the whole way home. Just goes to show you
a) Agenda’s are the new bible
b) Mary Ward students are completely insane
c) Our admin is willing to waste thousands of dollars to print new agenda’s that don’t fall apart after three days of use, but not willing to think before scheduling mandatory assemblies.

What are we supposed to do??

Thanks to Kyle Switzer and Minpetellisa from the 15/Love boards, I'm pleased to present you with...The Beef Dance!!! That's why I wanted to be BEEF.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QCGR5WOV

the unofficial mw dictionary, part ii

We return, nearly a month since the last installment of the unofficial mw dictionaryto clear the smoke of some more hazy mw lingo.

survive- v. my parents first used 'survive' in connection with mw when i was in grade five. ever since then, i've hated the word. survive is a very general term, meaning keeping your sanity and your mind straight, while continuing to live the mw lifestyle.

motivated- adj. many teachers mention "motivation" when speaking to particularly behind students. motivation is the realization that you either get off your ass, or you fail.

transfer out- v. some of your class will not graduate with you because they weren't motivated, and they didn't survive the lifestyle. these people transfer out, and enter another normal school.

normal school- n. day zero's. the days that are most unlike a normal school are what we are referring to here, because for us it is an average day.

scheduled days like a normal school- phrase. slightly contradictory, these are scheduled days.

kopach- p.n. a synonym for devil, fear, or nit-picky. not to be used lightly.

That concludes the unofficial mw dictionary, part ii.

what does it cost?

Staying up late, losing my sleep, losing my temper, losing my sanity...

I can't figure out this whole time management thing. MW LIVES on time management- every moment is planned, used to twice it's potential, and carefully monitored. I know, I know, it's the way it's supposed to be. And it's good, isn't it? But I just can't do it! There's so much to do, and never enough time to do it. It's just kind of overwhelming, you know?

I miss the summer. And I know I can't get back all the extra free time and everything, but just a few days off with good weather would be fun. And relaxing.

I should take a break...

in other news

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEMON!

I'm trying as hard as I can to pass over the extreme rage I'm experiencing right now. I shall edit this post later, as I'm failing at it.