i didn't ask...

The cliché. Backporch, a cup of tea, and bare feet. It's partly a veneration of the spring, partly a moment to gather yourself together, partly to personally look your fears in the eye. It's when you're alone that you cannot lie to yourself.

Things happen so fast. Thinking back, so many things were turnpoints in my life. I can pinpoint moments that could have gone so differently...a simple decision, a projectile, a phone call, a moment of tense silence. A door to run through. Then...then what? Life moved on, I didn't pass through. Trust. Eye contact. A door, locked shut, and tunnels moving too fast and I was blind to what lay in them. I waited on the outside. We did. Things streamed by, I stood still. And silent.

So much for sp.eak.

But there are things we cannot combat. You may think you bring them on yourself but it's something else that does it. That tells you it's right. That you HATE for the little while after. Hate yourself.

Are you confused? Probably. I bet you I'm more confused, go12. Minus plgy. Things move on, eventually. It just takes a little while.