double post- drowning

So many people have tried. I'm afraid to disappoint you, although it's too late for some. I don't know how to fix some things, and I have to. There are things you can't just leave alone- although maybe it's easier to. I'm confused...it's MAY. It's MAY! Oh god it's MAY. Almost. Can anyone help me?

AUGHHHHHHH THERES A SPIDER ON THE WALL....I really, really don't like SPIDERS......AUGHHHHHH it's SO FAST!!! OH GOD IT'S CRAWLING EVERYWHERE....

And back to on topic. (Sorry...spiders really freak me out...) I think I'll leave it here...to the diary then.

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So I blame the following people for indirectly making me obsessed with the piano I once hated;
Kirk. You idiot. I could easily have become immersed in my sewing once again, but noooo. Marjolein's brother, Bastiaan for those putfiles that I watched for forever- just staring at his fingers...he made me want to play like that. Actually, I added a Scarlatti piece to my repetoire because I "saw" him play something of his and it was awesome. It's visual too, you know. My mom's friend in the Philippines, who apparently played Liebestraum no.3 and was the cause of all of this Liszt-Love. And my lola, who loved it from the beginning.

I BLAME YOU!!!

And I'm angry at you, Mr Franz Liszt, for making it so goddamn difficult! The insane accidentals ALONE are driving me mad. The pedaling, (sp?) also insane. The SHEER NUMBER OF NOTES is mind boggling. Hello? But you, Mr Liszt, are a genius. I'd have given up last week if it didn't sound so awesome...and I never would have looked up all of these classical pieces.

Rachmaninoff. Concerto no.3. Third movement. Which sounds so full I feel like I'm drowning in it, (see the connection here) but I'm not crazy enough to try that one. Like right here...where the violins come in, and it's got this...ahhhhhhhhh.....

I'm not trying to sound like I know music. I know, I dropped out of RCM after Level Six exam which is...not anything. It's equivalent to a high school drop out not even making it to grad, let alone university. But even high school drop outs can learn, its just a bit harder after...and besides, you can't deny they're amazing compositions. GAHHHHH-making.