The Best of "Overheard"

I found these great sites with stuff people overhear. Here are some of my favourites....


Office girl in stall: Fuck this! Fuck you, uterus! I'll kick your ass!

Phone room worker to respondent: Hi, I'm calling from XYZ Research*, and we're doing a survey on Canadian politics. May I speak with a male who's 18 or older? ... Well, are you a male? A male. A male is a man... Do you have a penis? A penis? It's the male genitalia... Great. First, what province do you live in?


Coworker: Hey, how was your weekend?
Intern: Great! It's stopped itching and-- [Coworker walks away.]


Sales guy to another: Hey, have you ever tried that green fairy stuff? You know, abstinence?

Employee on phone: G as in 'Jesus.'

CSR: I always put '25' when it's supposed to be '52.' I must be anorexic.

Librarian: Your card is locked because there appears to be ketchup or chocolate milk all over this book you returned. You have to pay for a replacement.
Patron: It's vomit. I don't do chocolate milk.
Librarian: You still have to pay.

Wailing lady peon: Nooo! I have three boobs!

Office girl #1: Is it raining out?
Office girl #2: No way, it's sunny! Unless it a sun shower.
Office girl #1: A sun shower is not physically possible.
Office girl #2: Ummm, you've never seen it rain while the sun's out?
Office girl #1: Oh, I thought you meant literally, like giant balls of fire falling from the sky...

Weird coworker: I had a nightmare, too! I was standing in a pool eating taquitos, except they were filled with cream cheese and fruit!

Intern: My uterus is dry-heaving.
Supervisor: Wow.

Female phlebotomist to male patient: I hope this is a size 25 needle. [Sticks him] Oh, no! This is a size 22 needle -- it's too small. Blood is rushing into the vein, see? It's blowing up. I'm blowing you! ... Oh my god, I don't mean that!

Ancient lesbian waitress: You ever tried to buy dental dams at three A.M. in the Bible belt?
Wide-eyed teen bus boy: Uh... I have sooo many questions about what you just said...

CEO: We don't want to get sued because someone has a ridiculously large head.

Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.

Worker bee: Oh my god! I'm so excited, I'm gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss... Psss... Look at me! I'm the cat! I'm peeing on the carpet!

Shocked security guard: You gave it to me?! You gave me the cooties!


Check it out for yourself!
http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/