Water

I know I've blogged about this before... probably a few times. My brother is having a party downstairs and I know that's kind of a trigger for me, so I was glad when my dad told me to ask a few people to come over too. No one ended up coming or calling or anything, so Bunny and I watched a few movies and ate carrots. Well, she ate her Everlasting Carrot and I had a hamburger.

I really hate this about me. That I'm so sensitive to stuff like that, that it can affect me so much. It is so easy to make me feel sad- hell, even if the characters in the books I read are sad, I become sad. The first time I read the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime I started speaking choppy and very literally. (The second time I read it I took on the British mannerisms of Christopher and his supporting characters.) Sometimes that's fun though.

Anyways, I've been feeling kind of shit lately. I don't know why...I have a solid, realistic plan for school, I have an amazing job, I have great friends, I have my aminals, I'm out, I'm open about my MI's, and because I come home so late from work and my brother was having this party, he actually cleaned the house. I love it when it's vacuumed. I remember one Christmas I would vacuum the entire house at least three times a day...mmm...cleanliness....

I'm totally on my meds. I'm actually about to dole out my week's worth in my little green container, (did you know they make it in pink and purple? Those are my favourite popsicle colours!) so you KNOW I'm staying on them. I even have my green stripy cup to match so I can take them right away.

I want to be doing more with my life. That's completely crazy, considering that I sleep 12 hours a day. (Hey! We're down from 14! Yay!) But I want to sew Big Bunny, since she's only surviving on a lot of safety pins right now. I'd sew her on the bus if she wasn't so...big... I want to be volunteering at RVC, since I've gotten so much from the hospital. I want to be getting posters and pamphlets to start off for Speak.

This hurts so much...I don't know why...I want it to go away so badly but I know beggars can't be choosers. (I've heard that three times at Griffin in the past week.) At least I feel good sometimes, instead of just shit all the time.

G'night y'all.