Dear Mr. Clean (and the TTC),I have a proposal for you. Mr. Clean, I will accept free products up to and including magic erasers in exchange for free advertising on the TTC. TTC, I will accept free advertising and metropasses in exchange for my cleaning services. Area hospitals, the same offer stands for you.
I will provide my renowned cleaning skills to the TTC and hospitals in the GTA in exchange for metropasses, gauze, and question-free stitching. Yes, I can turn those subway stations whatever colour they are under that grime. Yes, I can remove the stains from your walls. Yes, I can even brighten the colour of your carpets and seats.
I have long wished to scrub TTC vehicles with magic erasers and a little water. In fact, I've considered using my own magic erasers to clean up the buses while I ride them, but I've decided that would be a little weird. I've also considered layering everything I touch with a fresh plastic tarp, but I don't have any.
Please, for the love of all that is good and clean, accept my proposals. I'm not joking. Seriously. Let me clean! Don't make me get my Windex!
Most Sincerely,
Katherina M Yerro
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