More like Saturday morning American-style-Anime. And (pshh) real life people acting as if they're cartoon characters. I'm disappointed. Actually, those five, (count 'em) that's right five minutes of watching the commercials after Beyblade, (wth?) and the theme song of Zoey 101, (you're not going to get famous!) made my day. I was bubbly and hyper and totally on par during Mandarin that day. Granted, we got extra homework for throwing paper airplanes, (tiny ones, made out of post it notes) but no one checks that stuff anyways. And I kinda wasn't listening. So sure, there is such a thing as too much hyperness. I just didn't want to believe it was true.
But then there were fun times at mass...come home, eat lots of flip food, take a shower, leisurely pray your hair dries properly while dressing for church, then swearing and wishing you bought a hat when you realize it didn't. Meh. Usher's door was locked...went to the office...had a few laughs...had a LOT of laughs...then ran back to the ushers room just seconds before the opening chords struck up. And they were chords- monstrous ear splitting terrible minor chords. Plink Plink BAAAAANG. Yah that's all I remember. Oh good homily by Father! Power to the people, heh heh heh.
Then today I woke up to the wondrous tune of 10:00am, truly I did. I'm not even lying. Granted I barely slept- woke up at 5:00am, then sorta just lay there until a good sunday morning slothly tumble from bed. "Bmuragghh..." says the sloth. I anxiously awaited New Year's dim sum. I didn't want to tell you in the car val, or in the mall, or at the restaurant, or in the car, or in the office, or in the car, or in the mall, or in the car. Mostly because I forgot. But I dressed up early and when I saw your car I squealed and ran out the front door and saw- YOU! (Ohkay I'm going to stop addressing Val, as she never reads my blog anyways. Gr. =D ) Oodles of food and lai see! (LAI SEE DAU LOY!!! See, I remember.) So we ate, learned good oral hygiene, and shopped a little more. I got apple juice. HOORAH! Then I went home and listened to Val's extraordinary bargaining skills with little brother Betsy. Yes, gum still has a large trade value.
There's more, yes, there's more! (So ha DOOD. You know who you are, DOOD.) (More sugar? Yes, definately.) I sewed up another lucky envelope, (why don't you just Purchase an envelope? Saves my fingers...) and dashed over in the pouring rain wearing nothing but the thin shirt on my back and the hope that I could make this delivery safely...joking! I dashed over in the light drizzle with my hand-me-down jacket and my holey shoes, and yes, the hope that I would make the delivery safely. My mom made me bring my cell phone, in case I got lost on the way. Funfunfun... EEE!!! I can see through curtains too. I see you...BOO!
So ends the first wonderful weekend in a while...Gong hay fat choy! Now, lai see dau loy! Joking, joking! Geez...=D
(Yes, I'm still a bit hyper. Bzzz.)
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Saturday, January 14, 2006
destruction and reminiscence
September 26th 2005....
Going to Catholic school is like being force fed faith- rought going down and even worse coming back up.
September 27th 2005....
I worry for your falling, but a little for your soul. Or is this second fear a product of my Catholic upbringing, the IV hooked up to my veins. It's hard now, to know which is truth or speculation in all the SHIT you've fed us now. You guess but leave no room for interpretation.
December 5th, 2005....
Am I denied a faithful freedom- or past that, a freedom beyond my faith. For all my remarks and doubts- I remain Catholic. My vow, is ---this--- much harder to keep.
December 5th, 2005....
But this is real...
And the most eloquent of them all: January 5th, 2006....
Fur-ee pants get wet easily. (With a picture of furry pants next to it.) Is there any such thing as mouldy cheese? (Yes.)
I think I was waiting outside of Oriental Supermarket when I did the last one...that's just too random.
Going to Catholic school is like being force fed faith- rought going down and even worse coming back up.
September 27th 2005....
I worry for your falling, but a little for your soul. Or is this second fear a product of my Catholic upbringing, the IV hooked up to my veins. It's hard now, to know which is truth or speculation in all the SHIT you've fed us now. You guess but leave no room for interpretation.
December 5th, 2005....
Am I denied a faithful freedom- or past that, a freedom beyond my faith. For all my remarks and doubts- I remain Catholic. My vow, is ---this--- much harder to keep.
December 5th, 2005....
But this is real...
And the most eloquent of them all: January 5th, 2006....
Fur-ee pants get wet easily. (With a picture of furry pants next to it.) Is there any such thing as mouldy cheese? (Yes.)
I think I was waiting outside of Oriental Supermarket when I did the last one...that's just too random.
Monday, January 9, 2006
more than this
A quick note before I start: I added one of my Slide albums at the top. Click to see enlarged version.
You're ruthless. "Single-minded to the point of destruction."1 I don't believe you can really think like that at all! How can you live like that? No one chooses to exist on life based on this one thing that doesn't amount to anything, not now, not in the future. I can't understand this waste of time ticking by me. Everyone's moving forward and I'm stuck here watching. I'm reaching for you but all you say is, "let nothing get in your way" and suddenly...no. It doesn't even matter.
No! That was not me trying to be eloquent, or me trying to make a statement. It's just me ranting. Ranting quietly. Very quietly. In sentance fragments.
There's got to be more than this. Or just a way to get through it without actually being there. I know what the solution is- it's hidden in my animals. Or lurking on the other side of my locker walls. Floating up into the sky. But the solution is also the problem...or can I just not let go at all?
1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...something about Bee.
You're ruthless. "Single-minded to the point of destruction."1 I don't believe you can really think like that at all! How can you live like that? No one chooses to exist on life based on this one thing that doesn't amount to anything, not now, not in the future. I can't understand this waste of time ticking by me. Everyone's moving forward and I'm stuck here watching. I'm reaching for you but all you say is, "let nothing get in your way" and suddenly...no. It doesn't even matter.
No! That was not me trying to be eloquent, or me trying to make a statement. It's just me ranting. Ranting quietly. Very quietly. In sentance fragments.
There's got to be more than this. Or just a way to get through it without actually being there. I know what the solution is- it's hidden in my animals. Or lurking on the other side of my locker walls. Floating up into the sky. But the solution is also the problem...or can I just not let go at all?
1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...something about Bee.
Friday, January 6, 2006
skating @stc
Who: Mrs. Mosely, Aeriana Eve, and k2 (aliases) Faye, Kat, and Kenny (real names...or are they?) and Vivian, at some point.
What: Skating and Shopping
Where: S. Civic Center, and S. Town Center (a whole 100 meters away)
When: Friday, January...something, 2006.
Why: Because we wanted to fly!
You'll see. We got our butts down to SCC and skated, (or tried to) for about an hour. Then our toes froze. No, you see, I'm lying. Our toes and fingers and faces froze about 10 minutes after getting our skates on! But it's all good...none of us ran over any little kids, and any wipeouts were for good reason and covered up very nicely. Very nicely. We skated around, chasing each other, tug-boating, everything. Then we headed for STC and shopped around, and when we were headed out of the pet store, (puppies! bunnies! lizards!) we found Vivian. Ahh another lie. Vivian found us, and we walked around for a bit before heading home. Fun day, fun day!
PS: A copy of this post will be posted in The Power of What? group blog.
What: Skating and Shopping
Where: S. Civic Center, and S. Town Center (a whole 100 meters away)
When: Friday, January...something, 2006.
Why: Because we wanted to fly!
You'll see. We got our butts down to SCC and skated, (or tried to) for about an hour. Then our toes froze. No, you see, I'm lying. Our toes and fingers and faces froze about 10 minutes after getting our skates on! But it's all good...none of us ran over any little kids, and any wipeouts were for good reason and covered up very nicely. Very nicely. We skated around, chasing each other, tug-boating, everything. Then we headed for STC and shopped around, and when we were headed out of the pet store, (puppies! bunnies! lizards!) we found Vivian. Ahh another lie. Vivian found us, and we walked around for a bit before heading home. Fun day, fun day!
PS: A copy of this post will be posted in The Power of What? group blog.
Monday, January 2, 2006
stolen from kirk who stole it from mel
1. name: kat
2. single or taken: tagle
3. sex: female
4. bday: may 10th
5. sign: taurus
6. siblings: older brother
7. hair colour: brown
8. eye color: brown
9. height: 5
lovers & friends
1. who are your best friends?: 123
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: can't you tell? i'm TAGLE.
3. did you send this to your crush?: nope
4. did your crush send this to you?: nope
fashion
1. where is your favourite place to shop: garage...ae...
2. any tattoos or piercing: ears?
specitics
1. do you do drugs?: everyday. are you jk? i am.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: fructis
4. what are you listening to right now?: the tv
5. who is the last person that called you?: k2
6. where do you want to get married?: church
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 16
8. what would you change about yourself?: everything.
favourites
1. colour: pilurple
2. food: choklitte
3. boys names: adrian
4. girls names: aeriana
6. animals: bunnies
7. sports: soccer, baseball, tennis, badminton
have you ever..
1. given anyone a bath?: yep
2. smoked?: nope
3. bungee jumped?: nope
4. made yourself throw up?: yes..but i was sick.
5. skinny dipped?: nope
6: ever been in love?: yeah, i suppose
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: many times
8. pictured your crush naked?: nope
9. actually seen your crush naked?: nope
10. cried when someone died?: yeah
11. lied: yes
12. fallen for your best friend?: nope
13. been rejected?: ionno? kinda?
14. rejected someone?: nope
15. used someone?: yeah...i used her to get choklitte. from the magical elf. in toyland.
16. done something you regret?: everything.
clothes: track jacket, umm...a watchathingy...a...bath thingy?
music: nothing
make-up: nothing
pet peeve: lack of choklitte
smell: choklitte (not kidding)
desktop picture: flowers
favourite artist: olp, nickelback
favourite groups: GO12
book you are reading: handmaid's tale, oryx and crake, sixteen,
cd in player: the killers (thanks michelle!)
dvd in player: the one...about the boxer...the female one...who got euthanized
colour of toenails: the same colour they were yesterday
last person..
you touched: does big bunny count?
im'ed: vvn
yelled at: carlo
You kissed: does big bunny count?
you are..
Understanding: never
Arrogant: always
Insecure: forever
Interesting: not a chance
Random: definately
Smart: nope
Moody: only everyday of my life
Organized: i can be
Healthy: *cough* ex-er-cise?
Bored easily: yep
Shy: i can be
Difficult: yep
Attractive: nope
Messy: sometimes
Responsible: no
Hyper: occasionally...
Happy: no
Trusting: no
Talkative: yep
if you could you would..
Kill: the person who made choklitte not free.
Slap: *cough*
Get really wasted with?: (*creepy voice from that movie) i'll never tell...
Get high with: (*sigh) repeat creepy voice.
Talk to offline: God.
Talk to online: God. can i do that? (*lightning strikes.) guess not.
In the morning: i try to forget
All I need is: choklitte
Love is: math. (read dictionary part ii, see "kopach")
I dream about: babies, agenda's, failure
Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or candy: CAAAAAANDY
Tall or short: short
What do you notice first: eyelashes
Makes you laugh the most: big bunny
Makes you smile: big bunny
Sit on the Internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: nope
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: nope.
Wish you were younger: sometimes...
Cried because someone said something to you?: yes
I know: i like juice. and cheese.
I want: to forget.
I have: no more cheese or choklitte. (*eyes brother's stash.)
I wish: i could fly.
I hate: many things.
I hear: my brother...(*decides not to eat choklitte)
I search: endlessly
I regret: my life
I love: choklitte
more randomness
1. Do you like fillings these out? not when they're this long...
2. How many people are you sending this to? the blogger world?
3. Who will send it back? those who have no time to waste yet insist on doing it. (like me!)
4. Gold or silver: silver
5. Favourite cartoon/anime: i forgot...
6. What did you have for breakfast this morning: break-fast?
7. Who would you love being locked in a room with: a maminal.
8. Could you live without your computer: (*laughs) no! (*eyes widen.)
9. Would you colour your hair: yea
10. Could you ever get off the computer: umm....yea?
11. habla espanol?: me no habla espanol. que?
12. how many people are on your buddy list?: way more than i can keep track of.
13. drink alcohol? i wish. no i can't take it, i'm lying. it tastes ICKY.
14. like watching sunrises or sunsets?: sunsets...then you know it's over, for the day.
15. what hurts the most?: when you open the cookie/cheese jar...and it's empty. *tear.
16. best words ever?: foff.
17. what now?: i'm going to my piano.
THAT WAS LONG. HOLYYYYYY....g'night guys. Thanks lil bro for letting me steal it off you..
2. single or taken: tagle
3. sex: female
4. bday: may 10th
5. sign: taurus
6. siblings: older brother
7. hair colour: brown
8. eye color: brown
9. height: 5
lovers & friends
1. who are your best friends?: 123
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: can't you tell? i'm TAGLE.
3. did you send this to your crush?: nope
4. did your crush send this to you?: nope
fashion
1. where is your favourite place to shop: garage...ae...
2. any tattoos or piercing: ears?
specitics
1. do you do drugs?: everyday. are you jk? i am.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: fructis
4. what are you listening to right now?: the tv
5. who is the last person that called you?: k2
6. where do you want to get married?: church
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 16
8. what would you change about yourself?: everything.
favourites
1. colour: pilurple
2. food: choklitte
3. boys names: adrian
4. girls names: aeriana
6. animals: bunnies
7. sports: soccer, baseball, tennis, badminton
have you ever..
1. given anyone a bath?: yep
2. smoked?: nope
3. bungee jumped?: nope
4. made yourself throw up?: yes..but i was sick.
5. skinny dipped?: nope
6: ever been in love?: yeah, i suppose
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: many times
8. pictured your crush naked?: nope
9. actually seen your crush naked?: nope
10. cried when someone died?: yeah
11. lied: yes
12. fallen for your best friend?: nope
13. been rejected?: ionno? kinda?
14. rejected someone?: nope
15. used someone?: yeah...i used her to get choklitte. from the magical elf. in toyland.
16. done something you regret?: everything.
clothes: track jacket, umm...a watchathingy...a...bath thingy?
music: nothing
make-up: nothing
pet peeve: lack of choklitte
smell: choklitte (not kidding)
desktop picture: flowers
favourite artist: olp, nickelback
favourite groups: GO12
book you are reading: handmaid's tale, oryx and crake, sixteen,
cd in player: the killers (thanks michelle!)
dvd in player: the one...about the boxer...the female one...who got euthanized
colour of toenails: the same colour they were yesterday
last person..
you touched: does big bunny count?
im'ed: vvn
yelled at: carlo
You kissed: does big bunny count?
you are..
Understanding: never
Arrogant: always
Insecure: forever
Interesting: not a chance
Random: definately
Smart: nope
Moody: only everyday of my life
Organized: i can be
Healthy: *cough* ex-er-cise?
Bored easily: yep
Shy: i can be
Difficult: yep
Attractive: nope
Messy: sometimes
Responsible: no
Hyper: occasionally...
Happy: no
Trusting: no
Talkative: yep
if you could you would..
Kill: the person who made choklitte not free.
Slap: *cough*
Get really wasted with?: (*creepy voice from that movie) i'll never tell...
Get high with: (*sigh) repeat creepy voice.
Talk to offline: God.
Talk to online: God. can i do that? (*lightning strikes.) guess not.
In the morning: i try to forget
All I need is: choklitte
Love is: math. (read dictionary part ii, see "kopach")
I dream about: babies, agenda's, failure
Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or candy: CAAAAAANDY
Tall or short: short
What do you notice first: eyelashes
Makes you laugh the most: big bunny
Makes you smile: big bunny
Sit on the Internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: nope
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: nope.
Wish you were younger: sometimes...
Cried because someone said something to you?: yes
I know: i like juice. and cheese.
I want: to forget.
I have: no more cheese or choklitte. (*eyes brother's stash.)
I wish: i could fly.
I hate: many things.
I hear: my brother...(*decides not to eat choklitte)
I search: endlessly
I regret: my life
I love: choklitte
more randomness
1. Do you like fillings these out? not when they're this long...
2. How many people are you sending this to? the blogger world?
3. Who will send it back? those who have no time to waste yet insist on doing it. (like me!)
4. Gold or silver: silver
5. Favourite cartoon/anime: i forgot...
6. What did you have for breakfast this morning: break-fast?
7. Who would you love being locked in a room with: a maminal.
8. Could you live without your computer: (*laughs) no! (*eyes widen.)
9. Would you colour your hair: yea
10. Could you ever get off the computer: umm....yea?
11. habla espanol?: me no habla espanol. que?
12. how many people are on your buddy list?: way more than i can keep track of.
13. drink alcohol? i wish. no i can't take it, i'm lying. it tastes ICKY.
14. like watching sunrises or sunsets?: sunsets...then you know it's over, for the day.
15. what hurts the most?: when you open the cookie/cheese jar...and it's empty. *tear.
16. best words ever?: foff.
17. what now?: i'm going to my piano.
THAT WAS LONG. HOLYYYYYY....g'night guys. Thanks lil bro for letting me steal it off you..
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
dude. non ward party w/ward ppl is
What? non ward party w/ward ppl is what? Don't leave me hanging here! NO! Don't WALK AWAY! I YEARN TO KNOW!!!
Don't worry. I didn't walk away. It was alright...truth or dare, high heels, FOOD, stuffed animals, everything. Yep!
Don't worry. I didn't walk away. It was alright...truth or dare, high heels, FOOD, stuffed animals, everything. Yep!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
g'morning and merry christmas! (3am post)
Yep. The family party has just officially ended- the door slammed shut on the last visitors. I can still hear them walking down the driveway through the open window. It is 3:12AM on Sunday, December 25th 2005. An hour ago, I was sleeping behind a small pile of presents, (mostly clothes) holding onto Speedy McKenneth and Big Bunny, of course. Here's how the party worked out:
First guests at 8:00- right as i opened the car door to hop out after mass I heard, "HEY!"
Party Picks up at 7:30
We start dinner at about 11:45pm.
Presents start at about 12:45pm, the next day!
Presents end at...2:30am
Dessert/Adult Kris Kringle/Wrapping up of celebrations- 3:00am
Average GIGANTIC family christmas i guess! and now...to return to the depressing business of my life and SLEEP. Merry Christmas y'all.
First guests at 8:00- right as i opened the car door to hop out after mass I heard, "HEY!"
Party Picks up at 7:30
We start dinner at about 11:45pm.
Presents start at about 12:45pm, the next day!
Presents end at...2:30am
Dessert/Adult Kris Kringle/Wrapping up of celebrations- 3:00am
Average GIGANTIC family christmas i guess! and now...to return to the depressing business of my life and SLEEP. Merry Christmas y'all.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
proud to be pilipino
yeaa...i'm a nerrd. now, watch me struggle. ako ay pilipino...i'm so proud of it, my culture, my family- especially for coming all the way from the other side of the world. there is so much more here, and though i am a pilipino-canadian, pero, i know i have responsibilities to my family, "back home." yea, i've never been back, but for us, it's still home. my heart belongs to canada, but my blood runs filipino. anyways, i should probably get back to that overdue monologue. by the WAY- kumain ka na ba?? hoy!! (*tsk) *smiles. that's all i know how to say. And i think i spelled 'pero' wrong...newho, salamat ho/po for your time, loves.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
burst my bubble - headers
Take Back Your Balloons.
Exacto knives and balloons don't mix. TAKE IT BACK. I DON'T WANT YOUR ----------. Let it go. Let's move on, because time is moving quickly and you seem to be stuck in a rut.
Back Off.
I don't need you asking questions all the time. I don't want you perpetually in my face. BACK OFF. I can deal with- wait- you don't even know what the hell is wrong. Let it go.
Stick To The Rules.
You all know I'm not always the greatest advocate to rules, but I'm not a great risk-taker either. But honestly, sometimes you kinda need them there. I'm not talking about admin rules here either- GO12, pay attention.
Joyeux Noel, GTH.
I love Christmas. I do! I think the birth of Christ is an amazing event we definately need to be remembered 2005 years after it happened. Hold on- why does everyone else hate this season as well? Must be something to it, eh?
Close Your Eyes.
Because you definately don't want to know what's coming next. BUCK UP YOUNG CHUCK, I'm headed your way. And I'm ANGRY.
...
AUGHHHH FUCK OFF!!!!
Exacto knives and balloons don't mix. TAKE IT BACK. I DON'T WANT YOUR ----------. Let it go. Let's move on, because time is moving quickly and you seem to be stuck in a rut.
Back Off.
I don't need you asking questions all the time. I don't want you perpetually in my face. BACK OFF. I can deal with- wait- you don't even know what the hell is wrong. Let it go.
Stick To The Rules.
You all know I'm not always the greatest advocate to rules, but I'm not a great risk-taker either. But honestly, sometimes you kinda need them there. I'm not talking about admin rules here either- GO12, pay attention.
Joyeux Noel, GTH.
I love Christmas. I do! I think the birth of Christ is an amazing event we definately need to be remembered 2005 years after it happened. Hold on- why does everyone else hate this season as well? Must be something to it, eh?
Close Your Eyes.
Because you definately don't want to know what's coming next. BUCK UP YOUNG CHUCK, I'm headed your way. And I'm ANGRY.
...
AUGHHHH FUCK OFF!!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
happy 15th v.a.l.!!!
Yes. That's right. It's a PARTY BLOWER THING. HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY VAL!!! Hopefully it's not your last 15th birthday party, if you believe in reincarnation. Hopefully it's your last 15th birthday party, if you don't! YAY FOR VAL!!!
Monday, December 12, 2005
invisible
can you slip away into the night? can you disappear completely? is it possible for you to be standing in the middle of a circle of people and no one sees you at all? or is it just that no one cares?
teen angst...
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
christmas for mw and the beef dance
Christmas came early for mary ward.
“TA’s, please come pick up the new agenda’s for your TA in the main office immediately.” Instantly a murmur hissed down the hall as students caught on to the implications of this message. Almost everyone rushed to TA, and as we walked in, Mark’s EA was standing at the front of the room grinning like Santa Claus and yelling, “Does everyone have an agenda? Who doesn’t have a new agenda!?”
People were squealing as we clung on to these new- whole- books. I stroked my nice clean agenda. I didn’t even put it in my bag- I carried it the whole way home. Just goes to show you
a) Agenda’s are the new bible
b) Mary Ward students are completely insane
c) Our admin is willing to waste thousands of dollars to print new agenda’s that don’t fall apart after three days of use, but not willing to think before scheduling mandatory assemblies.
What are we supposed to do??
Thanks to Kyle Switzer and Minpetellisa from the 15/Love boards, I'm pleased to present you with...The Beef Dance!!! That's why I wanted to be BEEF.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QCGR5WOV
“TA’s, please come pick up the new agenda’s for your TA in the main office immediately.” Instantly a murmur hissed down the hall as students caught on to the implications of this message. Almost everyone rushed to TA, and as we walked in, Mark’s EA was standing at the front of the room grinning like Santa Claus and yelling, “Does everyone have an agenda? Who doesn’t have a new agenda!?”
People were squealing as we clung on to these new- whole- books. I stroked my nice clean agenda. I didn’t even put it in my bag- I carried it the whole way home. Just goes to show you
a) Agenda’s are the new bible
b) Mary Ward students are completely insane
c) Our admin is willing to waste thousands of dollars to print new agenda’s that don’t fall apart after three days of use, but not willing to think before scheduling mandatory assemblies.
What are we supposed to do??
Thanks to Kyle Switzer and Minpetellisa from the 15/Love boards, I'm pleased to present you with...The Beef Dance!!! That's why I wanted to be BEEF.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QCGR5WOV
Monday, December 5, 2005
the unofficial mw dictionary, part ii
We return, nearly a month since the last installment of the unofficial mw dictionaryto clear the smoke of some more hazy mw lingo.
survive- v. my parents first used 'survive' in connection with mw when i was in grade five. ever since then, i've hated the word. survive is a very general term, meaning keeping your sanity and your mind straight, while continuing to live the mw lifestyle.
motivated- adj. many teachers mention "motivation" when speaking to particularly behind students. motivation is the realization that you either get off your ass, or you fail.
transfer out- v. some of your class will not graduate with you because they weren't motivated, and they didn't survive the lifestyle. these people transfer out, and enter another normal school.
normal school- n. day zero's. the days that are most unlike a normal school are what we are referring to here, because for us it is an average day.
scheduled days like a normal school- phrase. slightly contradictory, these are scheduled days.
kopach- p.n. a synonym for devil, fear, or nit-picky. not to be used lightly.
That concludes the unofficial mw dictionary, part ii.
survive- v. my parents first used 'survive' in connection with mw when i was in grade five. ever since then, i've hated the word. survive is a very general term, meaning keeping your sanity and your mind straight, while continuing to live the mw lifestyle.
motivated- adj. many teachers mention "motivation" when speaking to particularly behind students. motivation is the realization that you either get off your ass, or you fail.
transfer out- v. some of your class will not graduate with you because they weren't motivated, and they didn't survive the lifestyle. these people transfer out, and enter another normal school.
normal school- n. day zero's. the days that are most unlike a normal school are what we are referring to here, because for us it is an average day.
scheduled days like a normal school- phrase. slightly contradictory, these are scheduled days.
kopach- p.n. a synonym for devil, fear, or nit-picky. not to be used lightly.
That concludes the unofficial mw dictionary, part ii.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
what does it cost?
Staying up late, losing my sleep, losing my temper, losing my sanity...
I can't figure out this whole time management thing. MW LIVES on time management- every moment is planned, used to twice it's potential, and carefully monitored. I know, I know, it's the way it's supposed to be. And it's good, isn't it? But I just can't do it! There's so much to do, and never enough time to do it. It's just kind of overwhelming, you know?
I miss the summer. And I know I can't get back all the extra free time and everything, but just a few days off with good weather would be fun. And relaxing.
I should take a break...
I can't figure out this whole time management thing. MW LIVES on time management- every moment is planned, used to twice it's potential, and carefully monitored. I know, I know, it's the way it's supposed to be. And it's good, isn't it? But I just can't do it! There's so much to do, and never enough time to do it. It's just kind of overwhelming, you know?
I miss the summer. And I know I can't get back all the extra free time and everything, but just a few days off with good weather would be fun. And relaxing.
I should take a break...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
in other news
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEMON!
I'm trying as hard as I can to pass over the extreme rage I'm experiencing right now. I shall edit this post later, as I'm failing at it.
I'm trying as hard as I can to pass over the extreme rage I'm experiencing right now. I shall edit this post later, as I'm failing at it.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
incense
I'm in the computer lab...I've reminisced, I've spent a sleepless night remembering everything, the ceremony, the fifteen years we spent learning from him... and I just can't seem to let go of anything. Let me tell you how it went, so that it seems so much less like a dream and so much more like reality. Reality, the one thing I'm trying to escape, has finally caught up to me. But still...this is a modified version of events, since this is a public blog after all.
DingDong
"TINAAAAAA! HE'S HERE!" I tumbled down the stairs and wrenched open the front door, (it's got one of those odd vacuum things) ushering Lemon inside. We dawdled around upstairs until my brother, who had come home from London expressly for this ceremony ushered us into the car. It was not more than a three minute drive away, but we were still shivering with the cold as we forced ourselves to walk into the church. It wouldn't do to be running in at a time like this. Unsure, I lingered in the lobby with old friends while Lemon went to go pay his respects. I'd resolved not to go see his body...I wanted to remember him as he was before.
Eventually Movie came in and I accompanied him up. It was too much. The little cards with his pictures on him didn't look anything like him...he didn't even look anything like him. The only way I could tell it was real was his hands...the same hands that are the only thing I can remember. It was too much for Movie too. I took him to my brother and we tried our best to make the hurting stop but sometimes you can't let it work that way. After a while, I left with some friends, as well as Movie to go see if they needed help at the back. I handed out the deceitful little cards, I asked if they wanted to make donations, I said, "Would you like to sign the registry?" All the while my friends and I stood in that little line, a sentry of the youth he'd taught the essence of being Catholic, and shared his stories. It was the beginning of healing. The only way we could really let him leave forever is if we forgot him, and what he had done for us. "Father, I threw peanuts in the water!" "PING! A special blessing." "You should all consider Holy Orders." "Do you want to see all my pockets?" "My brother." "We stood by the river." "It was a miracle." "This is our faith." "This is our faith."This...is our faith." So we'll pass on the message and vow never to forget.
The mass began...we stood outside of the church waiting, as ushers do, and listening, as ushers sometimes do. The phrase of the night was, "You okay?" followed a nod of the head. The homily- eulogy? was appropriate. It was so shocking to see the 10 or more priests, and three Franciscan Friars creating a circle of golden vestments, interspersed with brown. The mass was beautiful...and over quite soon. As the youth assembled a pathway for the procession and the casket to follow, we watched as incense floated up to the top of the Church, hovering over the alter and finally reaching us way in the lobby. The priests crowded behind our path as the pallbearers processed and joined our line up. Father Reg. blessed the casket with Holy Water, as the incensed flowed through the area. As the ushers and youth we had the closest view of it all happening...and suddenly, he was gone. The Mass was over, and Friar Guy Gartland was on his way to New York. We re-grouped, calmed ourselves down, and headed for the sanctuary of the hall. And then we told stories...more of them, more of our memories until we could laugh while still thinking of him.
My brother sought us out and Lemon and I headed home, not quite ready to let go, but a little closer. For me, at least. I wonder what happened at Ms. Waskel's...
Sunday, November 20, 2005
reality
Don't give me reality when I want to hear your lies...don't let me know when you're pretending so I can think it's real...don't tell me honestly/seriously/sadly because sometimes, I just don't want to know. I can't stand to hear you telling me everything is real. I can't bear to look when I know the time has passed.
Does the same go for you? Do you want me to lie or say it straight to your face?
I know when people ask me, "are you ohkay?" "how are you?" that they want me to say, "yes, i'm fine, i'm stupendous, i'm flying, i'm soaring, i'm sinking, i'm drowning, i'm dying, i'm lying, i'm just holding on." (Quoted from a convo today.)
What makes no sense and has no reason fills my mind. What's more, I know it makes no sense and has no reason. Don't fucking tell me all is right because no shit, everything's fine. I swear, everything's fine.
(Am I lying?)
Does the same go for you? Do you want me to lie or say it straight to your face?
I know when people ask me, "are you ohkay?" "how are you?" that they want me to say, "yes, i'm fine, i'm stupendous, i'm flying, i'm soaring, i'm sinking, i'm drowning, i'm dying, i'm lying, i'm just holding on." (Quoted from a convo today.)
What makes no sense and has no reason fills my mind. What's more, I know it makes no sense and has no reason. Don't fucking tell me all is right because no shit, everything's fine. I swear, everything's fine.
(Am I lying?)
Saturday, November 19, 2005
surrealism and the keerie, in remembrance
The following is an excerpt written on November 10th, 2005, in the Mary Ward Chapel.
...Scant minutes after we'd gone our ways, I slipped through the Chapel door in search of solace. The scene was painfully stark, two boys and three girls, staring at their fingers as they murmered a plea to Our Lady.
"Hail Mary full of grace..." I joined them, each within our own reverie and linked by prayer.
"Merciful redeemer..." The rosary finished, we sat in silence. It was merciful indeed, that we had this chance, a choice. To gather in the twilight hours and pray to God for whatever His will may be. Slowly we drifted, and now I'm sitting here concealed a bit but writing out our tribute to him.
...Our Confirmation year was the most memorable- right from the first week of school he taught us about being Catholic- not Christian, Catholic. Throughout the year we learned about our faither and our church. He took us on tours, explaining the symbolism...we learned to usher and help at Mass. (Many of the Confirmandi from our year continue to do so today, myself included.) I watched for two years as hundreds of Confirmandi passed through his hands. I listened as he tried to recruit us, (the ushers) for the priesthood or convents. I can still remember the day he told us he was leaving for treatment, instructing us on the kids bulletins, showing us where everything was.
...I can still remember, and so we wait. We're all writing out our tributes now- Nisha smiling sadly, Camille as she sniffs back tears. I can hear the band faintly, the tune of "Follow the Fold" from drama, and the sounds of rehearsal. It isn't too long before I head there myself but today is a weak day, and it knows not the cold that lies here.
That was a little over a week ago. It's Saturday night, the news we waited for arrived this morning. Honestly, I had my mouth full of chocolate and was humming the tune of a new song I found sheet music for when the phone rang. It took a while. I passed the message on, as was my duty. It's still taking a while. I've returned from mass- which brings it all to reality. Not completely there yet, but still a little more real. The one thing at mass was that as ushers, we could run the mass the way he wanted while he wasn't here, but there was always the expectation of his return. Just hovering in the background, it was, the idea that his absence was temporary. Today I realized we'd never snap our mouths shut at the sound of his rosary, or see him standing at the alter, or listen carefully to his instructions. We learned to put out the kids bulletins, organize the Confirmandi, reserve seats, call Communion Ministers, put away the bag, check the collection schedule, grab the baskets, seat the people...everything in the past few months. And now comes the real test. Can POP RC survive without the man who did it all? I mean geez, we had to get a whole committee to replace his work with Confirmation, First Communion, and First Reconcilation candidates.
It isn't real yet. But it will be, soon. Silent comfort in your presence, spontaneous teenage prayer, quiet hugs, saddest eyes. With one look today, we communicated everything. I walked into the church and- one look. Donovan came- one look. It took that.
PS: On the right-hand navigation bar, you'll find a list of links. The third one is a link to The Power of WHAT? a blog created by The Group of Twelve. You'll find me, under the alias Aeriana Eve, (just like it is here) among with my cookie loving friends. Never of course forgetting, Samantha/Addy/Jeffrey who love muffins just as much. And Kaitlyn, who loves marshmallows. And Richard, who loves chocolate. And Lemon, who loves...Lemons! And I, who love it all.
Friar Guy Gartland, School Ministry, Franciscan. [never.Forgetten]
...Scant minutes after we'd gone our ways, I slipped through the Chapel door in search of solace. The scene was painfully stark, two boys and three girls, staring at their fingers as they murmered a plea to Our Lady.
"Hail Mary full of grace..." I joined them, each within our own reverie and linked by prayer.
"Merciful redeemer..." The rosary finished, we sat in silence. It was merciful indeed, that we had this chance, a choice. To gather in the twilight hours and pray to God for whatever His will may be. Slowly we drifted, and now I'm sitting here concealed a bit but writing out our tribute to him.
...Our Confirmation year was the most memorable- right from the first week of school he taught us about being Catholic- not Christian, Catholic. Throughout the year we learned about our faither and our church. He took us on tours, explaining the symbolism...we learned to usher and help at Mass. (Many of the Confirmandi from our year continue to do so today, myself included.) I watched for two years as hundreds of Confirmandi passed through his hands. I listened as he tried to recruit us, (the ushers) for the priesthood or convents. I can still remember the day he told us he was leaving for treatment, instructing us on the kids bulletins, showing us where everything was.
...I can still remember, and so we wait. We're all writing out our tributes now- Nisha smiling sadly, Camille as she sniffs back tears. I can hear the band faintly, the tune of "Follow the Fold" from drama, and the sounds of rehearsal. It isn't too long before I head there myself but today is a weak day, and it knows not the cold that lies here.
That was a little over a week ago. It's Saturday night, the news we waited for arrived this morning. Honestly, I had my mouth full of chocolate and was humming the tune of a new song I found sheet music for when the phone rang. It took a while. I passed the message on, as was my duty. It's still taking a while. I've returned from mass- which brings it all to reality. Not completely there yet, but still a little more real. The one thing at mass was that as ushers, we could run the mass the way he wanted while he wasn't here, but there was always the expectation of his return. Just hovering in the background, it was, the idea that his absence was temporary. Today I realized we'd never snap our mouths shut at the sound of his rosary, or see him standing at the alter, or listen carefully to his instructions. We learned to put out the kids bulletins, organize the Confirmandi, reserve seats, call Communion Ministers, put away the bag, check the collection schedule, grab the baskets, seat the people...everything in the past few months. And now comes the real test. Can POP RC survive without the man who did it all? I mean geez, we had to get a whole committee to replace his work with Confirmation, First Communion, and First Reconcilation candidates.
It isn't real yet. But it will be, soon. Silent comfort in your presence, spontaneous teenage prayer, quiet hugs, saddest eyes. With one look today, we communicated everything. I walked into the church and- one look. Donovan came- one look. It took that.
PS: On the right-hand navigation bar, you'll find a list of links. The third one is a link to The Power of WHAT? a blog created by The Group of Twelve. You'll find me, under the alias Aeriana Eve, (just like it is here) among with my cookie loving friends. Never of course forgetting, Samantha/Addy/Jeffrey who love muffins just as much. And Kaitlyn, who loves marshmallows. And Richard, who loves chocolate. And Lemon, who loves...Lemons! And I, who love it all.
Friar Guy Gartland, School Ministry, Franciscan. [never.Forgetten]
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
*cluE
"It's my belief that history is a wheel. 'Inconstancy is my very essence,' says the wheel. Rise up on my spokes if you like but don't complain when you're cast back down into the depths. Good time pass away, but then so do the bad. Mutability is our tragedy, but it's also our hope. The worst of time, like the best, are always passing away."
-Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy
History repeats itself
-Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy
History repeats itself
