just pretend

Halloween approacheth. Well, actually Halloween is already here. I'm in the computer lab right now, typing out this blog because I'm done the history unit I was working on and it's no movement, so I can't get the next. (Stingy people! Last year they didn't care!)

It's nice to pretend to be something you're not, hiding behind some kind of a persona. It can also be lonely, where you feel as if it's only you under the mask. Forget, just forget everything about your life because sometimes you just need to let go! Just make sure you don't let go completely. I've been fooling myself, thinking I could get through this year without working all the time. I've been avoiding my courses until I've become so behind I doubt I can catch up without some major work. NEGLECT! I wish something would happen so that I could just forget for a while, with a good reason. But I can't forget, it's past that time.

Out of sight, out of mind, and still it lingers there. *sigh.

Here's a quote I'm working with in english, from Obasan;
”The sadness and the absence are like long winter storm, the snow falling in an unrelieved colourlessness that settles and freezes, burying me beneath a growing monochromatic weight. Something dead is happening, like the weeds that are left to bleach and wither in the sun.”

I'm back- this time after Halloween festivities. (To Marielaine/Marjolein; You're really missing out on candy!) And I'm completely exhausted, and all ready for bed if it wasn't for the fact that I still have to do work. That five days of the flu really put me behind- I could be less screwed up in so many courses! I can't keep my eyes open, but I'm going to have to, for the sake of that second period seminar. Can't...survive...at...MW! Must try harder, work more, less fun, more DISCIPLINE! (my eyes just drifted shut.) Just two years and eight months left to go.

it never ends, does it?

Finally done the costume- damn proud of it, but I don't trust the sewing enough to NOT bring a sewing kit to school tomorrow. Thanks to lemon for helping me sew! I'd never have finished without some citrus fruit.

The motto of the day was originally, "if I screw up, it's ohkay, it's only two eggs." (I tried cooking eggs this morning.) But it's changed..."it never ends, does it?" I had an awesome day, that's true...but it's the whole tomorrow part that bugs me. Nothing left to say.

singularly

Well...saturday school is sort of just funny now. for two weeks in a row we've ended at least one hour early and spend the rest of it talking while Dai Da something tries to interest us in Mandarin riddles. And songs. Oh, the songs...

So I finally started the infamous Fire Faerie Halloween costume- as depicted below:
It took me sooo long just to make the patterns for this, because I used four different shirts to make the bodice, bottom half, hood, and sleeves. Plus some guesswork. Then after that I had to cut them out, sew it together...I'm going to bed not having attached the sleeves yet, and I'm just barely able to type out this blog. Tomorrow, I'm adding colour to it with some fabric I found/bought to make it a bit more interesting.
I love my mommy! Let's put it this way- without her, I'd be hand-sewing the whole thing, and I don't even know how to hand-sew. Except for fixing Big Bunny, and for those of you who know her, lets face it- I'm not very good at fixing things with my amazing sewing skills.
Patience is needed.

Lil sister/wife/girlfriend/nun/honey
Big brother/husband/boyfriend/priest/lemon

The "usherette", as that odd creepy seminarian who was speaking today said, is a little weirded out by his off-colour speech today at Mass. Yes, I'm totally going to pray with my boyfriend so we can explore our vocations. Granted, we've attended mass together every week for more than a year, but it really doesn't count. Especially when you're an usher. But it was a good try, good try! They need better priest/nun recruiters...the church really does need more members of clergy in north america, but this is not the way to go about doing it. I suppose there isn't much to do- just wait for people to notice their vocation and try to convince them to live their lives for God.

Mary Ward is taking a decidedly stingy view of Halloween this year- costume or uniform? And you can't dress as a civilian? Shuuuuuure that's going to TOTALLY work out for them. I just realized- I can't reach in my costume. Crap. I think halloween is kool. CAAAAANDY!

Gotta sleep! Since I'm waking up tomorrow to sew and then do units, I'm not going to be sleeping for another week. Unless something comes up next sunday and *sigh...two weeks then. Big Bunny says, "goo nighttttt!" Aeriana Eve also says, "GOO NIGHT!"

math is sexy

Math, you make my heart race. Linear equations have never been so interesting. Indeed, in my life, I've never felt love like this. No, not for math. No, not for shiny things. No, not even for ice cream. (But yes for chocolate.) Math, you are truly the sexist subject in the world.

Lemons are also sexy. My sexy lemon...

The MW Lifestyle is one of schizophrenic tendancies. In art, you are an artist. In drama, you are...many things. In other areas you are a student, simply a student. Yea anyways...

Kenny wants to be a prince. I'm gonna be his princess. YO.

PS: I'm in a silly mood.

erfan (short for sweaterfan)

Today's blog title is courtesy of Miss Calystra A. L. A. AKA KC. OMG, stop with the acronyms. She wonders why they call these 'blogs.' why not, 'web logs.' Why indeed, Mrs. Anwari.

Apparently the above paragraph is to her satisfaction. Very.

Odd discussions today. All day. Nothing to say...back at school, I'm 14 units behind...TA interview today...byee!

...flu

Yes. Five days of flu. Five DAYS. Of fever, chills, headaches, heat, nausea...need I go on? Apparently I DO! Ohkay- at least six people on msn have asked me, "did you finish a lot of units?" and when I say no, they say, "why NOT?" HELLO?!? I was home...because I was SICK! SICKSICKSICK! If I was healthy enough to do work, shouldn't I be doing it at school? Hence, the whole Home Sick thing!! ARG!

I also developed a weird obsession with the Food Network. However...I'm watching Family Guy right now, (and it's making me DIZZY and DISORIENTED) so here's a pile of quotes.

My Favourite Family Guy Scene
Camerlengo: Pope! POPE! It's time to get up and put on your hat!
Pope: It's a stupid hat.
Camerlengo: POPE!
Pope: Ehh ohkay...
Camerlengo: Pope...the floor is not a hamper.
Pop: Ahh...fine.
Camerlengo: Good. Now it is time to go on the balcony and address the people.
Pope: Hi- AHHH! (Gets carried away by a hot air balloon.)
(In a back alley talking to Brian and Stewy.)You make-e the pope look like a fool! Smite them! (Nothing.) He's-a cookin something up!

Also, the scene on the double decker bus in Munich-
Brian: This book says nothing about 1940 until 19something...
Tourguide: Everyone went on vacation!
Brian: That's not true! Germany invaded Poland...
Tourguide: We were invited! Punch was served!

sweet oblivion

Quote from the new story box: we only have but one life, one love, one truth to find, our souls are intertwined...

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is try to forget- and at the same time it's the hardest. No matter how hard you try, it's always hovering at the back of your head, waiting for you to cringe from the memory. Years pass, but the memories still live. Nothing more to say...

of murder most foul

He looked into his face- his nine year old face- and shot him. He SHOT him.


The unit four HRE203 seminar made me cry. Twice. People are being killed RIGHT NOW. Someone in El Salvador, (and all over the world) is just finding the mangled body of their child. (I'm crying again!) But how can any change happen, when the people who beg and work for peace are victims of the very violence that they fought against? Yet when you try to fight fire with fire, we all end up getting burned. What choices do we have?

Some WebSites I Found
El Salvador a Wonderful Country
Personal site with links to English and Spanish material on culture, history, and current events.
Voices reveals plight of El Salvador child-soldiersHouston Chronicle, United States - 18 Oct 2005... "I thought they had been killed, but they were coming to play this church to help the victims of an earthquake in El Salvador. When ...

Oh. Oh yea. A wonderful country with child-soldiers.

twelve,twenty

^Today's Story Box ^

"What do you mean, don't skip? Then I can't see you!"
"Uh huh..."
"It's like...asking me not to see you!"
"Best analogy ever."

It was a boring day...I was alone for a lot of the day, *cough* people! So I created the Story Box in english, when I was bored. I still wish I was...unScrewed with school, because it's just so stressful knowing you're behind. And yet I cannot work because I am undisciplined.

AUGH FUCK OFF!

Anyways, Kat had a much better time AFTER school at town*cough*centre...yes, I love your time management skills, even more than I hate mine. Self-directed schools are amazing and suck all at once. Right now, they suck.

A lot.

Kat/Aeriana Eve needs to work now. It never ends, does it?

sickLY

school makes you sickLY.

that pretty much covers it.

underneath the starshine

Another difficult day...made better by a special visitor =) thanks hun...i really needed that.

New song for you guys...Matt Shapiro- Flowers in June.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NKD54YKB

I can barely think about school...I just feel so low whenever it pops into my head. I'm eternally tired- I mean, I sleep so much! But when I wake up in the morning it's as if I just spent 8 hours running instead of sleeping. I don't think I've been in a "working mood" since grade nine! I don't need one day off , I need two. One day to sleep, and one day to work. Then I'll be fine, I think. I hope. Even weekends are busy...

Such a weird day...I'm trying to hard to get work done, but it's just not...not happening. I guess I should stop blogging and try to finish off some units. Oh God but it's hard- not the work, (well, sort of the work) but just getting through the day. They seem endless and too fast all at once. Am I really back here again? It seems like everytime I pull forward I get tugged back again. And I'm a fucking idiot, I lost my drama form and it's late already. And I've been neglecting french and math and...and everything. Everything seems so unreal...and I hope to God, it isn't. I really do.

watch out for those pesky landmines

A tribute to my all-time favourite song...that I had to email the band for. (It was a demo, apparently.) Here's a link to download it, just because I think it's a good song.

The Whereabouts- Landmine
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0IP9TDMX

So, while that downloads, I suggest you look around, take in your surroundings...take note of any weird things that you may not have noticed before. (Still waiting for the ad to stop, huh? Then...) I suggest that you go and either take a picture of this weird thing, fix it so it's normal, or just leave it. But don't forget to return here. (Still waiting?) Make up a daydream and enjoy the sweet loss of reality. At least, until it's done downloading.

Whew! That took a while, didn't it? Oh well...let's get started.

It can be sooo difficult- being a MW Student. Being ANY student! At least, when you have a job there's a point to doing work. But when you're just in school, it seems like you're going to be doing pointless work for a long, long time. Guess what? YOU ARE! (This is where you turn on something like Billy Talent, or Three Days Grace, or maybe even Fifty Nutz. But I don't think Fifty Nutz will cut it right now. Sorry!) When, WHEN, will I ever use this?




I don't know either, it was a rhetorical question. (Yes, I've been working on my Paint skills, thank you!) I just don't see the point of it anymore...but I guess I don't have a choice. Or do I? Let's explore this topic. You can always- not show up to school. You can fail,(and never graduate.) You can do a half-ass job on everything and work your way through, (more) school. You have a lot of options, apart from working. And I so wish right now, that those were some of my options. I wish that if I chose not to keep working, I would still be in biomedicine when I grew up. I wish...I wish it was easier. But don't we all? *sigh...I lost my motivation.

the old lady and her cats

There once was a 40-year-old lady living across from Kenny. Kenny had a crush on the 40-year-old lady, who had seven kids and forty cats- one for every year. She used to tell him, "everytime a cat dies, I get younger." One day when Kenny went to the lady's house, he tripped over a cat and killed it. Getting frantic, he grabbed the corpse and shoved it into the microwave. Then he turned it on. The old lady gave him cookies and a special kiss, (which made him blush) and sent him back to his house across the street. Then the old lady decided to make some popcorn. She opened the package and stuck it into the microwave. Suddenly she realized there was something furry in there. Something warm. Something...with Kenny's fingerprints on it. (On it's eyeballs.) (She had laser eyes, did I tell you that?) Then she ran across the street and climbed up Kenny's garage into his room, where she had been several times before. When Kenny saw her, he screamed and ran. But then he tripped. And he killed another cat. And they put the cat in the microwave together and retreated to the old lady's house, because now she was thirty-eight years old.

Good thing they were imaginary cats.

But Kenny really does have a crush on the 40-year-old lady living across the street and her imaginary cats. He has a soft spot...for her soft spots.

Kenny's girlfriend, (Aeriana_Eve) thinks it's weird. That he tripped over an imaginary cat belonging to his 40-year-old crush. But she still joins him in chucking a puffer at the road, dancing on the rain, and hanging out with kangaroos. Because she still loves him- despite the cats.

the NERDS of tomorrow

A horrible travesty has occured recently. The nerds of tomorrow- the future scientists- will no longer be able to attend OSClub. OSClub...my summer home...the only thing I would bus 1 1/2 hours to everyday...the place where I met all these amazing people- is over. OSClub has been cancelled- it will no longer exist next year. We were the lucky, the last few ones. And I'm so grateful for it...

the LONG story

Kat is here to clear things up. Kat is not "sick." Kat is not sick-PLEH. Kat is not "sick" or sick-PLEH! kat was extremely exhausted this morning, so my TA said i could come in and take a nap if i wanted to, after i went to seminars and stuff. so i did- i came in 3rd period and slept in parlato's office, cuz he's not here today. then lam came in and he's like, "oh! there's someone in here! that's very shocking!" (i'm QUOTING him too- i never expected him to say that...that's very shocking!) but ms small heard him and then SHE bothered me and she looked at me with the worried/angry/quiet face and then kicked me out EVEN THOUGH i had permission to be there....so i went to chaplaincy where my TA was and tried to sleep there. but ms. small had told him, "i think she should go home if she's that sick." and blahblahblah and now i'm at home, NOT at the u.4 religion seminar i've been waiting for, NOT going to rehearsal! kat is perfectly fine! (just really really sleepy!) ARG! I think I should not have been sleeping. But I was sooo tired!!!

your MW Student Profile

There are several lifestyles associated with being part of the Mary Ward community. A few are listed and briefly outlined below.

a) The Hard Worker- Often referred to as "nerd," "dedicated," or "on track," these people waste very little time in the day. The periods are carefully planned, checking for seminars and floor schedules as a MW Student should. Once they arrive at an area, they are efficient and focused. A few of Type A people may actually be, in Focus.
b) The Working Skipper- Otherwise known as, "the sick." These people find the MW environment not conducive to working. When reading this definition, they will understand the meaning and proper context of conducive, even though I can't spell it. Instead, they convince their parents to call them in sick, fake sick, or just leave school in favour of another place to work. Most Working Skippers are much more efficient outside of school, within school hours.
c) The Skippers- School can be tiresome, I understand! Even though everyday is different and we plan it ourselves, it can be monotonous and excessive. Everyone needs a break- and skipping is the best way to do it. The best ones look natural as they don't take a second glace at the security cameras.
d) The Hallwalkers- Connected to The Skippers, Hallwalkers often find themselves without an area to stash their stuff. Supposedly. Hallwalkers simply drift along the halls in small groups of two or more, quietly discussing what they please. Hall Monitors are the bane of a Hallwalkers life.
e) Drama Students- We're so special, we get our own section! Drama Students are those who are very expressive, often quite loud. The most obvious sign of a Drama Student is their ability to act like an idiot and get a laugh- not at them, with them. Pro Drama Students are able to get laughs out of teachers as well.
f) Normal Workers- At some point in a MW Student's career, they will become normal workers. Occasionally falling prey to the "not working mood" and fifth period anxiety, (yes, I'm hungry by then too!) they generally work at a normal pace to make most target dates.

Skim over these explanations and see what your MW Student Profile is. Here are a few examples;
Aeriana Eve's MW Student Profile: CBEF
Michelle S's MW Student Profile: DFEF
Jess R's MW Student Profile: EF
Pauline D's MW Student Profile: DEAF
Put your own profile in the comments! I want to know!

making enemies

(in the english department)
It's weird- how easy it is to make enemies. You can do one thing- get put into groups for history, skip a seminar, buy a cookie, wear a bracelet, laugh, smile, frown, shift over, eat, drink, draw, sew, run, skip, hide! And *BOOM* your friends are narrowing their eyes behind your back. It just doesn't make any sense. Or does it?
Choice wields power- a strong need to make the right decision inspires pressure. CHOOSE! HER OR ME? CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? BLUE OR BLACK? (You, Chocolate, Blue.) The real danger occurs when they already have an answer in mind.
Hypocrite- I do that too. If I'm partial to one thing I'll be offended if you choose the other. If you smile when I'm being serious I'll be hurt. I must admit, I'm too sensitive for my own good. Or yours, come to think of it.

I shall ride the camel...

Thanksgiving weekend.
I just returned from a family party, and started this blog. Life is...as it should be. Lies, betrayal, laughter, giggles, units. (Or lack, thereof.) I'm incredibly behind for the fifth, (sixth?) week of school, but it's expected. Come on, I've got all year to make it up! It just gets a bit overwhelming, especially when everyone around you is on Unit Fours and Fives...it's unbelieveable. Things have changed a lot from last year- like how I'm not incredibly confused everytime I come out of a staircase, how I don't freak out everytime a target date comes around, how I don't mind bending the rules for a little fun. I'm not breaking the rules! I'm just bending them! Kat is not completely different from last year. But still different. How is it that you can become better friends with someone in the four years of High School than in ten years of elementary? How is it that so much change can occur within so little time? I realize now that you must have conflict before change can occur...and then after that, it's just a little more bumpy than before. But a helluva lot more fun!

Anyways, it's late and I should probably sleep. The real question is...will I? Good night all.