just pretend

Halloween approacheth. Well, actually Halloween is already here. I'm in the computer lab right now, typing out this blog because I'm done the history unit I was working on and it's no movement, so I can't get the next. (Stingy people! Last year they didn't care!)

It's nice to pretend to be something you're not, hiding behind some kind of a persona. It can also be lonely, where you feel as if it's only you under the mask. Forget, just forget everything about your life because sometimes you just need to let go! Just make sure you don't let go completely. I've been fooling myself, thinking I could get through this year without working all the time. I've been avoiding my courses until I've become so behind I doubt I can catch up without some major work. NEGLECT! I wish something would happen so that I could just forget for a while, with a good reason. But I can't forget, it's past that time.

Out of sight, out of mind, and still it lingers there. *sigh.

Here's a quote I'm working with in english, from Obasan;
”The sadness and the absence are like long winter storm, the snow falling in an unrelieved colourlessness that settles and freezes, burying me beneath a growing monochromatic weight. Something dead is happening, like the weeds that are left to bleach and wither in the sun.”

I'm back- this time after Halloween festivities. (To Marielaine/Marjolein; You're really missing out on candy!) And I'm completely exhausted, and all ready for bed if it wasn't for the fact that I still have to do work. That five days of the flu really put me behind- I could be less screwed up in so many courses! I can't keep my eyes open, but I'm going to have to, for the sake of that second period seminar. Can't...survive...at...MW! Must try harder, work more, less fun, more DISCIPLINE! (my eyes just drifted shut.) Just two years and eight months left to go.